Dreaming Of India

I wish I could travel right now. It seems that India is a nice pick. So I checked it out on Google and found out that it is indeed beautiful there. The culture is fascinating, the food appears delish, and the temples seems interesting to visit. Four places I have in mind to explore in India and that is New Delhi, Jaipur, Gwailor, and Agra.

New Delhi, because it is the capital and a typical base city where I can start getting on the train as I do a side trip or day trip in the coutryside. The bustling city is also culturally rich and can offer a lot of spectacular places for me to peruse, food to taste, people to meet, etc.

Jaipur, because of its good reputation in rug making and also being dubbed as 'The Pink City'. I was fascinated of the fortresses and temples in pink colors and I want to see it in person and be in awe of its beauty and splendor.

Gwailor, because it is famous for its sturdy and beautiful fortifications and is just a stone throw away from New Delhi. I can just hop on a train and be there in a jiffy. I am impressed of the tall fortifications on top of the plateau that I am itching to be there and just watch it with jaw open from a distance.

Agra, because of the world famous Taj Mahal. Ever since when I was a child it is my dream to see this beautiful edifice made for the love of a man to his most prized woman. Their romance was interesting and had amazed me because he even made her this almost perfect temple loved by many.

I want that dream to come true.... I want myself to see and feel the real place. Plus the myriad of yummy and intriguing foods and delicacies they have such a tandori, biryani, rich curries, buttery naan, crispy dosas, etc. Oh I can't wait to try everything and just feel their heavenly tastes. Aaaaahhh....

I Miss Traveling

Time flies so fast..... August is almost ending and September soon will usher in. I miss traveling in Europe a lot. I always travel every start of Fall Season and apparently this year I cannot travel because of the Covid19 travel advisory. It really sucks but I cannot do about it because there were a lot of scary stories about Covid19 and I don't want to come across with it. I lost a very dear friend from Covid19 and until now the hurt that I felt when she died still lingers like a cut on my skin, it hurts deep. I miss her so much. So for this year, on my birthday in October me and my cousin Val was planning to have a road trip to Monument Valley. I have to make some arrangement early on so that we will enjoy it. I have to book the hotels and see or check what things to do in Utah. Browsing Google.com and checking about Monument Vally gave me some chills and thrills and I cnnot wait till it happens. I am so excited and same as Val. He has a lot of plans as well and suggested a lot of things to do. For sure he did his own research. I was surprise...... I guess local road trips is the new alternative to suffice my love of travel especially in Europe. The change of environment alone will try to divert our minds from the busy environment at work and the community. For sure we will be having fun, God willing. I've been working almost everyday to save up for the upcoming travels but it seems that things had gone haywire recently because of Covid19. The question is, "When will this pandemic ends?" The answer remains unseen since there is no vaccine out in the market yet. I guess it will be a long long time to have this pandemic stopped. Plus the upcoming election is another factor I am considering not traveling. I want to be home when election comes so that I can see and know who will win. Hehehe.... hmm, can't wait for that to happen though.

Pig Project

Today, I woke up quite relieved as if it's just the usual day. I'm preparing myself to go to work. It's my second day overtime and I'm just quite okay with no fatigue or tensions felt. It's just a typical day for me. Tomorrow I will be off but as usual I will work at my other job for more paperworks to finish for eight hours. It's a good day off with pay. Hehehe... Since it's still Covid times, I cannot travel so I decided to work everyday with some overtime in between just to save up when the travel ban reopens. At least I have a hefty savings right now, enough for me to save for the rainy days. Some of my money went to the 'pig project' in the Philippines. I almost spend ten thousand dollars for that project. The pigs will be sold in October. Let's see if this project works then I will invest more of my money for the project. This is just the trial period. It's quite hard to save money every week for the pig's feeds and send it to my cousin in the Philippines who handled this project. At least I have to come up more than four hundred dollars each week for the feeds for four months. It seems that Katherine can be quite trusted for this. She's the one who come up with the idea about the project. She offered me the project first because the pig pen that my uncle was using before was empty so she messaged me and laid out the portfolio. I thought about it a million times and I realized that if I tried it, nothing will be lose from me anyway. I already dipped myself in hot water now so I have to man up this decision and just go with the flow. It's a very hard responsibility but I have to do it, period. We'll see what happens..... and I'll keep you updated.

Partly To Be Blamed

I cannot quite contain myself right now with the sad news I had received yesterday. I am still in denial and shock as well. I felt that the burden was on me because I was the one who is collecting the money for the operation and I gave it to Nancy quite late. I don't know.... but I am feeling it that way. I am more of a worrier so they say. Nancy was always thankful at all times.... because I helped her despite that I never knew her and her husband. She always tells me that I am a good person and that she was very very appreciative of everything that I have done for them. She never complained at all. She was all grateful for me initiating a fund campaign for Jojit's AV shunt operation. I felt also that the time was not on our side. It seems that it was already written in the skies to happen. That Jojit's life's thread was at the near end and that there's no hope anymore. Just like fate I may say....... Time immemorial, I will always remember this fiasco. Haist.. I felt so bad. I felt that Jojit's life was on my hand and I blew it. Partially, I guess that had happened. I don't know.... Life is full of surprises. We don't know what God has in store for us.... Our life is always at the mercy of our God. At least the only thing that I am grateful with is that I have initiated the fund campaign and gave hope to the couple (Jojit & Nancy). I am also thankful that I have known how drawn I am to such hapless situation and had empathized myself for it. It gave me a realization of myself that I am not aware of and that I know now how to handle it have I encountered another situation in the future.

Received A Sad News Today

I felt so sad today because I heard a surprising news from Nancy that Jojit had passed away today. I felt like crying inside when I read her message to me. I didn't feel that warm tears had rolled slowly down my numbed cheeks. I felt that all my efforts to collect money to help for his operation was in vain. I felt so guilty that my campaign was not that successful and had not even helped Jojit have his operation. He didn't even waited for his scheduled operation for this coming Thursday. He had a cardiac arrest today and per Nancy he had a flatline for seven times and they even defibrillated him three times but he passed away eventually. The hair from the back of my neck stood up upon hearing the horrible situation. I was in shock. My hunch was that his body gave way from too must waste that had accumulated for having no dialysis for 5 days. The high levels of potassium and ammonia in his system triggered the cardiac arrest and his fragile body cannot bear the accumulated waste products complications. Having no functioning AV shunt, made him without an access for dialysis thereby cleaning up his body for all that toxic body wastes that had accumulated for days was literally not possible. Plus he was really weak to tolerate the procedure. Nancy had told me that when Jojit was even conscious, he was telling her reminding not to forget to thank all those people who had helped them for this unprecendented ordeal. It was so touching reading it from Nancy's messages. I was crying hard. A day before, I had send Nancy all the money that I collected for the operation and she was very hopeful that it will make Jojit live but all of the sudden I heard this very sad news. Imagine my surprise when I've heard it. Well, I cannot question God's plan for him, so I trusted Him for making the best for Jojit and his family. I told Nancy to be strong and think that Jojit is in a pain free and peaceful place now with our Creator. I'm glad I am a part of their life now. And this made me grow more as a caring person and made me aware of my differences and my capabilities. I am amazed of myself sometimes and this made me realized that I can do immeasureable things which is even mind blowing to me.

Emphatic Benevolence

I got a messenger message the previous day from one of my friends in Facebook. She is familiar to me but not that really close. Let's just say she's a random stranger. The only connection is that she is one of my Facebook friends. She messaged me, sounding helpless, asking me to help her regarding her husband's plight. Her husband is a dialysis patient and had his AV shunt clogged at this time. He was not being dialysed right now because of the clogged shunt. So she asked me to help her financially for the operation of another AV shunt. She doesn't know what to do because she has nothing on hand right now... I mean she is financially hard-up. She was invoking me to help her. I felt some reckoning shivers in my spine and all of a sudden felt pity at her condition. I know the feeling of being helpless and alone having the big weight on her shoulder. I know the feeling of maintaining a family on dialysis because my dad has one before and I am the only one who had supported him financially. And for this poor woman trying to make their ends meet, I can feel what and how she felt at that time. I felt an instant sympathy to her inadvertent situation because her pleading message was about to burst immensely in my heart. It was a strange-iffy-feeling of pity and emptiness inside me. I felt so enormously numbed. I never thought that it was a scam because she felt sincere in her message. Despite some warnings to me that it's a scam, I still believed that she is truthful in her pleadings. I closed my eyes and asked guidance from the Lord and then I immediately put up a posting in my timeline asking close friends, relatives, cousins, aunts, uncles, classmates, acquaintances, etc. to help me in my campaign to aid this guy to have a new AV shunt access. Putting up a little money from spare money change just for his operation so that he can be dialysed right away. I was surprised of the sudden outpouring of donations and I am extremely happy that now I can help them have a new AV shunt access for this poor guy suffering a lot from the complications of having a dialysis access. I thanked all those who have supported me in my campaign and for helping this family in anyway to ease up just a bit of their financial suffering and to at least gave them more time for this sick guy to spend more time with his love ones. TO ALL WHO HAVE HELPED..... THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH...... AND MAY GOD BLESS YOUR BENEVOLENT HEARTS. "In whatsoever you do, in words or in deeds, do all in the name of Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." - Colossians 3:17

Searching For Roots

Reaching for roots is not an easy thing especially if that person concerned has a lot of ill feelings. I am writing right now because the previous day I was reading Shaun's blogs and I wonder where he's at now. So I tried hunting him in the internet and luckily I found him. Not only him but his little bro and sis, too. His mom was my close cousin. When I went to America I stayed at their house in Katy. Literally, they knew me because they saw me physically at their house when I came to visit their mom. When I passed my NCLEX, I moved to McAllen, TX and then after few years went to California to work as a traveling nurse and then decided to stay in Los Angeles. Shaun was in high school when I left Texas and when he went to college I heard he graduated with high honors. It's been a long time that I haven't heard from my cousin Perlina and when I got in touch with Kuya Ernest, he told me that Ate Perlina had a divorce and the kids were out for college and had lived separately as well. I was in constant contact with Shaun after he graduated college and until he moved to Taiwan to study. I've read his inspirational blogs when he was there and then all of a sudden he was inactive and I have not had any communication with him. His mom, my cousin Ate Perlina went back to the Philippines and had lived there for a few years then went back to America to live with Shaun. In my search I saw that Shaun was living now in Marlborough, MA. My hunch was he probably is teaching at MIT because I've heard he has a masteral and doctorate degree in engineering. He is academically inclined like me, hehehe. Then in my search I saw that his little bro Joshua was living here in Long Beach, CA which is a few stones from me. I was really amazed. I told my other cousin Kuya Ernest about the kids and he told me that Joshua is not also communicating with them and same with Shaun and Mira. He said that Joshua is somewhere in California and is married already. He also knew that Shaun is in Massachussettes and he also said the Ate Perlina is living with him. On the otherhand, he doesn't know where Mira is. All he knows is that she is also married and had stayed in Texas. I told him that in my search I saw that Mira is living at the present in Austin. Yes, it was a long gone struggle to search for my little nephews and niece. But I am happy that I've located them. I am always liking Shaun because he's smart and he's familiar with me. He was a shy kid before but he is okay. Maybe in the future I can send him a card and asking how he is. It is indeed true that blood thicker than water.

Fleeting Night

The night seems like it's eerily fleeting. So much happened and it's almost the end of the shift. My orientee was kinda bored because we only have 3 patients. I'm also bored as well because I have nothing to do except for covering my LVN for the IV meds. It was surprising that I don't feel sleepy tonight. I thought I will be... considering that I have not slept yesterday afternoon because of doing binge-watching Korean telenovelas. I was just laying on my bed yesterday watching the movies. I got up at 1630 to get myself ready for work. I felt fine despite of lack of sleep. And tonight, it feels like a breeze. Every moment was just smooth after midnight. It was dead after that. At 0500 the unit went live again because the nurses were doing some patient care at the bedside, keeping theirselves busy to wrap up the shift. Quite quick but kinda intimidating..... because you don't know what happens next. I mean these patients were critically ill and anytime soon some will deteriorate and get coded. Anything is imminent and unpredictable. Some patient's were kinda fussy and demanding, some just wanted to sleep, and some have no idea what is happening because they were nonresponsive. A lot of patient types and we don't know who will crash. The night was totally and immensefully fleeting. So far nothing major had happened. Good thing we had survived it but there's still few more hours before the shift ends and still we don't know, something might happen anytime. Hopefully not.....

My Fave Movie 'Coffee Prince'

Every time I watched a Korean telenovela, I feel so excited. Right now I'm in a marathon of watching an old series 'Coffee Prince'. My.... I was hooked to the plot and the characters were so lovable especially the main cast Eun Chan and Han Gyul. Haist I cannot wait for the next episode. After I worked last Sunday, I went home at midnight. I cannot sleep that time so I opened my Viki app and browsed for some movies. Then I came across 'Coffee Prince' then I watched the trailer and was immediately fell in love. It's a hit-and-miss drama full of hate-and-love tandems but it is very addictive. I am in awe of the characters and I fell in love with the handsome Han Gyul. Despite it was shoot in 2012 the movie looks present except for the phones they're using. I miss my old Nokia phones. Hahaha.... I watched the series parts because I go to work and then when I get home I continue the episodes where I left off. I'm almost finishing up the 17 episode series and as I continue watching the story becomes intense. Haist. By the time I finished it, I guarantee that I'll be more in love with the characters. They are all adorable. I wish there will be Series 2 but it seems that there is not. It's almost eight years now since its inception and there were no follow-up series yet.... but at least I am satisfied with the first series anyway. I love everything in it! This movie will me my third all-time Korean drama movie favorite compared to my all time fave 'Moon Embracing the Sun' and 'Gu Family Book' now changed to 'Kangchi, the Beginning'.

Where Teaching Molds A New Breed

Haven't had a great night lately. Last night was great though. Me and my orientee had only 3 patients. We were assigned in the Center Wing. At first we had a rough start because we have to pick-up the patient that had just been coded but eventually was ordered to be transferred to ICU care. Instead, we got another stable patient from ICU after they had swapped them. Then after that everything was been smooth. I always told my orientee, that at the beginning of the shift it will be chaos then as the shift goes on everything will be smooth. And I think she already get the hang of it. Honestly, in my observation she was more attentive now with her meds and already anticipated what she needs. I still have to coach her sometimes to start this and do that. I guess, she always wanted me to cue her on what to do next. I always told her to make sure she is certain on what to go next and that she has to inform me if she has any unanswered querries. Still, she has to learn more procedures and patient care. I always told her to always tidy the bedside and always make the patients comfortable. Dirty bedside and surroundings makes the patient uncomfortable. At least, she is learning everyday. I am glad she is absorbing whatever I've taught her.

Back For More

T'was a fleeting day off I've had. I didn't do that much but just sleep the whole day. I really succumb to fatigue from working 2-days straight. It was really an off day spent just for sleep. When I woke up in the morning I felt refreshed and then in the afternoon I couldn't sleep anymore. I am worried that I will fall asleep at work tonight. It's already 0430 right now but I'm wide awake. I feel so hyper and energetic. I have more time orienting my orientee tonight. We had changed the patients, repositioned them, change GT dressing, start an IV, changed PICC line dressing, etc. We were loaded tonight. I am happy that I am able to teach Jennifer some important stuff and that she was quite fast now. She's really a fast learner. Thank God I didn't have a hard time training her. The night is still early though. But thankfully we didn't have any events happened. Cross my fingers, it will be a smooth night.

Blistering Night

Yeah, I have those nights that I am suppose to precept a new registered nurse orientee. And it was a lot of work. Imagine yourself going to the basics and your work clock went into a slow pace. It's blistering isn't it? I have the preceptee for three days and so far she is more dependable. She picks up easily and ask questions when she needs to. Her assessments were quite impeccable but still needs just a little bit of thoroughness. But I mean, she's already there. I guess I have trained her real fast. I only hav eher for 2 weeks but she's already been doing a lot. Her med pass was quite slow but she is at a good start. I told her to be slow but sure rather than making med errors. I showed her some hints in passing like how to crush crushable meds, how to manage her time, how to cluster care without altering the patients sleep, how to make and follow-up orders, how to do a make believe admissions in a training session (we have no chance yet to do admissions, but oh well believe me we will), ho wto call the house MD, how to call primary MD or consults for any changes in condition, how to chart for restraints and resplenishing the order, how to do chart checks, how to check for cardiac strips or rhythm if telemetry is ordered, toured her around the facility, did the scavenger hunt in the purchasing office, how to check the patency of enteral tubes, hang the new feeding bag and tubing, how to draw ordered iStat labs, and many more things she needed to learn before she can be on her own. I mean I already trained two new RN orientees so far and their fairing well on their own. Danni was seen more confident and I have heard about Aron doing an excellent job for admission. I have not seen Aron yet becaus ehe works per diem but I knew exactly from the start that he is a smart nurse. Going back to my busy night..... oh well one of my patient is a little anxious and was trying to decannulate himself, but I doubt it if he can do it becaus ehe appears very weak. I just gave him some IVP pain medication and he will go back to sleep. He is kinda feisty at times as well. Well..... so much hoopla for my blistering night... it's almost over and I'm close to the finish line. I am glad that I have survived or shall I say we had survived. It was one of those night that had many challenges but we solved it. T'was a night full of learning process indeed!