Friday, May 29, 2009

I Miss My Mom

Well, I was off yesterday and I got a text from my brother from the Philippines. It doesn't say anything but to call him right away. I felt a little cold down my spine because I know it pertains to my ailing mom.

My mom will be 74 years old in June 4. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease at a young age of 70. Alzheimer's disease is an elderly disease with a resultant loss of remote memories. And watching her succumb to this memory-reducing disease slowly pains me a lot. I went home last 2006 celebrating her 72nd birthday with pomp and posh. She was excited at that time, and happy to see me with mixed emotions but it hurts to see her smiling at me without even remembering me.

When I arrived at the airport my sister brought my mom with her to pick me up and as I kissed my mom's face she was kind of perplexed at me. When I asked her if she recognized me, she vehemently says no, but I can see the confusion in her deep-seated-eyes. I immediately broke out into tears upon hearing it because I can feel how painful it is that my own beloved mom denied my existence in her midst.

I just hold off my emotions and cautiously hugged her instead. I introduced myself at her and she tried to hold and feel my face with her two scrawny hands. I can see in her exploring eyes, as we are come face to face, that she was trying to check me out, intently caressing my permed long hair and softly running and touching her already wrinkled hands on my facial features trying to double check if I was really her long awaited youngest son who live far from her and whom she loved and adored dearly. Then she suddenly hugged me tightly and childishly sobbed a little bit. I immediately assured her that's it's okay not to recognize me because I understand her fragile situation. Then she tightly held and shook me on both my hardened shoulders telling me; "I thought you were my older neighbor's son?" And now I realized that she's talking nonsense to me.

Alzheimer's disease is a debilitating neurological disease that affects older people's brain function and thinking, mostly their past memories. They couldn't remember yheir remote memories and experiences and they appear confused, exhausted, and even depressed at times. And my mom suffered all these symptoms.

Constant reminder will help them like placing calendars in the room to remond them for time, placing old family pictures for them to remind their loved ones, giving them independence in doing activities of daily living, providing them routine activities and care so that they'll remember it all the time. They easily get provoked and depressed because of the chemical imbalances happening in their body. And they are extremely emotional and labile.

After she retired early at the age of 60 years and suffered two major strokes, my mom's health status gradually declined. Adding to her symptoms was that she also had a major depression when my big brother got missing after his cargo ship where he used to work sank somewhere in the Indian Ocean near Bangladesh after they encountered a sea storm in 1992; my dad's early demise at 55 years old because of a chronic renal failure; and her beloved children who eventually grew up, having their respective families, and moved out or live away from her because of job responsibilities.

After her 72nd birthday she was also diagnosed with a benign glioma, a type of brain tumor which is slow occuring and inoperable. Survival rate is not that good but a person may survive many years, which prolonged her life for two years and still counting, but she was been to a lot already. She has on and off bouts of minimal but controlled seizures which lasted for seconds and her respirations got tachy or fast at times because of the growing tumor that compressed her fragile and delicate brain and increased her intracranial pressure which also stimulated her occasional nausea and vomiting.

It was so ironic that I was not at her side all the time to take care for her. As a knowledgeable health servant I should be the one taking care of her to pay her back of her unconditional motherly love for me and my six siblings. We are a big family and my mother is really hands-on at us when we were little. She was a very respectable and accomplished elementary teacher and I really look up at her strong and compassionate personality.

But I couldn't do it, I couldn't be at her side all the time, because I worked so far away from her. So I made an agreement with my siblings that I will shoulder her medicine, hospitalization and every thing that she needs, as she spend some of her remaining days in this earth.

I always hope and pray that she will last till next year so that we can celebrate her 75th birthday with a big party and grand celebration. But I just received this unexpected text yesterday heralding me of the bad news. I called my brother as soon as I got the text and asked him to set-up the webcam so that I can see her through the computer and he willingly complied immediately.

I excitedly turned on my laptop and webcam and we were online in a short time. As my mom appeared gradually on the camera, I almost broke out into tears because I can vividly see how haggard she is; how she unconsciously chased her fast-paced breathing; and how emaciated, malnourished, and bedridden she is. I felt a sudden prick of guilt in me because I really felt that I am responsible that she suffered this much.

I immediately talked to her through the microphone and the moment she heard my voice she immediately perked up and hoarsely called my name. As her haggard voice called my name I sobbed and cried suffocatingly inside my lonely room. She managed to make an impish smile and asked me where I am at that moment. I cautiously reminded her that I live far from her. She was sad upon realizing what I've just told her but I confidently assured her that I will make some reservations to come visit her at the end of June which immediately changed her depressed mood and brightens her saddened face again. I felt a lot of hurt, guilt, and pain seeing my dear mother suffering and telling me that she's okay when I know that she's not. I know she doesn't want me to worry about her situation but honestly I am extremely worried about her. That I felt she will eventually gave up and leave us.

I can see the strong mother I have slowly eaten up by this debilitating brain disease and it really pained me a lot to see her suffer. I told my siblings who willingly gathered around her bedside to ask the doctor to prescribe her some oxygen to allay her fast breathing and to make the most of her days happy and more dignified.

I also asked her what she needs or wants at that moment, but she strongly asked me for a confession and communion of her soul. I really cried a lot because she really wanted to end all of this and that she wanted to go home to her Father, our Lord. I am so pained and depressed. But I am also happy that she remembered me the moment the camera opened.

I know I won't be seeing her alive soon but it lifted my feelings and spirit to see her even if it's online. I just hope and pray that she will be happy upon seeing me and that she will be satisfied and fulfilled when she goes and gave way.

Now I felt so void, so empty, and lonely after the webcam went off and have to get out of my place and find a quiet place for me to pray and think alone clearly. I really missed my mom a lot, my friend, and my counselor. She is my rock and I always treasure her in my heart. Hope everything is well for her and that I can see her when I get home.

Mothers are always our refuge when we were little. And my mom really is the most unforgettable mom I had. I am proud to have her and I thanked God for giving her to me. If given another chance I will willingly choose her again as my mom. I love you mom!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What's The Hype About Adam Lambert's Lost?

Well, bloggers good day to all of you. I am so pissed right now because of the media frenzy about the post-idol finale news. Huh.

I was browsing yahoo news then I saw this big-captioned news article about "Accusations Unfair Voting For Idol Winner" posted by Access Hollywood on yahoo news. I mean this is a blatant accusation that the results were being rigged with the help of some IT company in Arkansas encouraging Allen's fans to participate in "power-texting" to up the number of votes against the poor opponent ten-fold.

I don't know if this allegations were true, but to me Lambert's fans just can't get over that he lost to Allen. This is an obvious act of sour-graping because they just can't accept that the most publicized contestant from California who was loved by the media was not chosen by the American public.

Well, I pity the fans reactions because they were overly confident that Lambert will beat Allen because I admit in fairness Lambert really sings well. But his singing prowess to me is more of a theatrical performance. His wide-mouth-tongue-wagging-high-pitched-singing does not even amazed me. I mean he's bound for a metal rock concert trying to scream and seize uncontrollably on stage in front of his rock-and-metal-music-lover-audience.

His sissy personality even annoys me. Those deep black eyeliners with heavy make-up is totally disgusting. He appears like a fake gothic icon which even not suitable to him. And this media hype about him is overblown and the gossip mongers from different tabloids can't just shake it up that he lost from this charming humble little guy whom the public dearly loved.

Well, to all Lambert's fan.... quit sour-graping... and quit circulating this gossips that the finale results was rigged. Face the fact that the decision was been made and that Kris Allen was the American Idol Season winner. Grow up and live with what the facts are laying out in front of you.

Kris Allen is the winner and that Adam Lambert is the runner-up. Reality really bites!

Monday, May 25, 2009

So Out Of Touch Or Just Plainly Demented?

Hi guys! I have a funny experience today which I'm going to share with you. Here it goes.

I woke early at 4 am this morning. Had a good night sleep. I took a warm shower and was so pumped up for my clinical class with Batch 5 at Imperial Crest Care Center. I made my agenda and test for the day before I went to sleep last night. Everything was in order and organized.

I left the house at 6 am and noticed that the freeway traffic was lose and scarce on a Monday. I thought it was just because of the LA Marathon today. I know it's still Memorial Holiday but I thought the holiday was yesterday. I arrived at the facility thirty minutes early after I passed by McDonald's to buy some coffee and an egg McMuffin. I parked on the street and waited for the students to arrived.

Normally the students arrived fifteen minutes early before 7 am but I noticed at 6:50 am there were no students coming. I have a bad feeling that they are not coming thinking they were instructed that it's their holiday from school.

I tried to make some calls but my damn iPhone was acting up. It froze everytime I make calls and I mean it's bad luck for me. I sitted in my car and waited fifteen minutes more to really confirm that the students are not coming. I am still in denial.

At 7:15 am there were no students reporting. I immediately felt that I am so out of touch from reality. Hahaha. I am so demented and so uninformed about my own schedule. I left the facility and immediately headed home. While driving home, I was so worried about my iPhone, too.

When I get home I immediately called ATT wireless to report the behavior of my iPhone but unfortunately they're on holiday too so probably I have to take care of this problem tomorrow. I dug up my old Blackberry and charged it so that I could use it for the meantime while I am waiting for the wireless company to help me put my iPhone back to use tomorrow.

Well, that's life sometimes bad luck do pop up because of our own negligence. Sometimes it happens because of our own careless behavior and sometimes they do happen accidentally. What we can do is to prepare ourselves for it and know how to handle it whenever it comes unexpectedly. And we sure know how to troubleshoot and accept the fact that we have to wait for quite a while to recover our loss of time, effort, and money.

I mean we can learn from our mistakes and we can be assured that whenever it do happen again we know how to maintain our composure and handle ourselves in such bad situations. Life as we live it everyday has it's own peak and trough. It's just a wave that comes and goes. It's not always that we have the highest point all the time but also we do have our own lowest point. And we have to prepare ourselves when it comes and do happen.

So that's what had happened to me early this day and I don't know yet what else to come. But rest assured I am ready to handle such situation no matter how tough it will become.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Seattle Happenings: Part 2

Well, it's been a long time I haven't got back to my blogging. I don't want to reason out it here but I have to.

When I left Los Angeles for my Seattle vacation, I just moved in to a new apartment and when I came back I was surprised that my internet is not hooked up yet. I was so upset to death but what can I do, but to wait for the turtle-paced two weeks for it to be processed and hooked back.

It tool several calls and two IT guys from ATT to come to my pad and checked my lines and connections until I got this precious DSL connection. It all turned out that my order was been processed wrong and that they send guys who are not supposed to look my lines. Blah blah blah.

But I'm happy now that my internet is back and now I can freely blog my mind out whenever I can. I have to write the rest of my vacation in a piece of paper and promised to type it once everything settled down. So here I go:

May 5 (Tuesday)...... the weather in Seattle is overcast. We woke-up late at 9 am, took a shower and readied ourself for the day. Agenda: To meet Kuya's previous friends and go see the "Museum of Flights" at the Boeing Center.

We went to the mall at Renton and came to see Kuya's friends Malou and Pinky. After a little chat we left Malou's truck at Pinky's friend place and we then decided to take the rented car to the museum. It was raining that day but the gig has to go on.

We arrived at the museum dripping wet from the rain, purchased our entrance tickets and started roaming around the big hangar-like place appreciating small and big planes as they evolved from the time it was conceived and invented by the Wright brothers.

We also took several pictures and also get to see and experience the feel of the real plane such as the Boeing 777, 747, the Air Force One, the British Airway Concorde, the Space Shuttle etc. It was a good and educational experience we had despite of the pouring rain outside the building.

We took our lunch there at the cafeteria, bought some mementos form the gift shop and decided to hang-out at Malou's place for the night to have Kuya chat and have quiet times with his friends.

As we go take the freeway to Malou's place, we were driving slow because of the rain and the traffic then Pinky called us that they met an accidental so we were instructed to just go directly to Malou's place (with the aid of our ever reliable GPS) and just wait them there while they sooth out what had happened during the accident.

We arrived at Malou's place and met her husband Jun and their kids. Kuya cooked and we ate after that but still Pinky and Malou are still being picked-up by Gary (Pinky's friend). When they got home, they look haggard and tired and we talked about what happened.

We went home at 11 pm and the rain quieted down a bit. Hopefully tomorrow will be a great day for us to spend.

May 6 (Wednesday)....... I thought the sun will come out today knowing that the rain quieted down last night. I was wrong. The rain even poured harder. It was cold and raining hard outside. We were kind of tired already from the previous days activities so we decided to rest today and just wait till the rain goes down. But it seems that it will gonna rain the whole day. So we get up after noon and started to plan out what to do. I told Kuya that I need to see the Children's Hospital of Seattle, thinking that I want to see how big the facility is and may be inquire for a job opening.

We left the house at 1 pm and drove to the University belt where the hospital is located. We drove slowly on the slick road, followed the strict instruction of our reliable GPS, and made our way safe to the hospital.

The hospital was quite big, with carricatured walls conducive and invciting to children. It was really a childlike atmosphere and I feel at home at it. We inquired where the Human Resource is but they told us that it was on the other block where the trailer offices are being parked. Because it was raining I then decided to just suspend my inquiries now that I saw how the hospital looks. It was already sufficient for me to see the hospital and then probably decide later if I want to move here or not.

I told Kuya that I might be better to call Malou and check how she feels after yesterday's accident. But we just decided to go there and hang-out for the rest of the day.

When we arrived there Malou was just watching TV, that means she's okay. She even asked us to go to the mall to pick up Pinky. We shopped a little bit, went to Chinatown and ate dinner then headed back at Malou's place and sing Karaoke.

It was a fun day despite of the pouring rain. At least our rest day was been spent more to Kuya's friends. It was fun and good.

May 7 (Thursday) ....... the day was very good. As in VERY GOOOD! Our plans today is to go to The Grotto at Portland, Oregon. Our host will accompany us for the driving. We left the house at 8 am then we headed south through I-5 going to Oregon. The weather was overcast and the rain are scattered. The view of the way was very nice and captivating. Green and lush from the previous rain.

When we got to Olympia, which is the state's capital, we made our right exit and decided to passed by the state's capitol to take some pictures. There was a prayer rally held in front of the capitol and but we still manage to take some pictures despite of the busy crowd. The capital was a quiet town, not quite overly populated compared to Seattle, and the traffic is not that bad.

After taking several pictures we then went to the freeway and continued our way to I-5 going to Oregon. It was a long three hour drive and by the time we got there the rain started to drizzle.

We immediately headed to the Grotto. The place was so vast, cold, and serene. There was not not travelers and revelers coming there because it was a weekday. We were told that the weekends were packed so for us this is great.

The Grotto was located at the outskirt of Portland which is 10 miles away from the city itself. The Grotto was situated at the bottom part of a ravine were the small cave was been carved out to be the seat of the Sorrowful Mother. The church was a small one but colorful. The chapel was very quiet. The garden at the top of the ravine was adorned with several hundreds of species of plants, trees, and flowers.

Various religious, staties, carved objects , and small buildings were found around the garden. It was a very pristine place void of any urban noise. The Garden church was the seat of the famous replica of Michelangelo Pieta intricately carved on a mahogany wood. It looks beautiful and lifelike.

We then went to the gift shop and bought some things and mementos for our friends back in Los Angeles. It was a very fulfilling day for us.

We left Portland at 5 pm and we drove back to Seattle. While on the way home we decided to pass by the Filipino restaurant were Ate Julie used to go in Olympia. We met the owner which is a Cebuano and ate our dinner there. He recommended us to pass by Tacoma and see the Blowglass Exhibit at Tacoma Glass Factory.

When we got to Tacoma it was nippy and we drove to where the factory is as instructed by the GPS. The exhibits were so pretty and colorful. We then took several more pictures and then we went back to the freeway heading back to Seattle.

We got home at 10 pm. We were so tired and sleepy. It was a very fulfilling day for us.

May 8 (Friday)..... We woke up early at 7 am. The sunshine was sipping through the sheer curtain in the living room. The sun was out so brightly promising how good the day is.

Our plans today is to go to Southbend to eat seafood. Ate Julie has a firend there waiting to host us. We set our rented car down south and made awest turn towards the bay at Olympia. Then we drove two hours going to Southbend.

Willapa Valley is a tiny village in the Southbend. The play is a small town. Beautiful, quiet, and pristine. The view was exhilarating and captivating. We met our host Ate Siony, her hubby, and daughter Tracy. They were a very open minded and wellcoming family.

We went to the antique stores and browse some good items. We went to a seafood store and bought some fresh oyster and shrimp. We went to the scenic places and took more pictures for our online albums. We stayed at their motel and eat seafood galore. I ate a lot of oyster and sweet shrimp.

The courthouse was beautiful and very vintage. The townsfolks were very polite and jolly. The place was very green, lush, and pretty. The lake was so quiet. The mountains and countryside were good to look at. It was good and quiet to live there. All in all Willapa Valley is a good place to retire.

May 9 (Saturday)..... Finally t our vacation has to end. It was the last day of our vacation. I woke up early in the morning to fix my baggage, double checking that everything is in the right place. Ate Julie prepared a hearty breakfast for us. We then took some pictures together and then we thanks our host for her welcoming attitude and for letting us stay at her house.

We left at 11 am and drove our rented car back to the rental car office and then we took the shuttle to the airport. After checking in all our baggages we waited at the airport until we boarded our plane heading to Los Angeles.

The flight to Oakland was quite rocky and shaky but the ones to Los Angeles was smooth and quick. We arrived at LAX at 5 pm tired and exhausted.

After picking up our baggages we then took a shuttle to drop us off at the parking lot where I left my car then we drove home.


It was a fun and memorable vacation I had. I glad I made the decision to get out of Los Angeles and feel the breeze of fresh air of Seattle, WA. Thank God!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Seattle Happenings: Part 1

Hi guys! Well, here's some tidbits of my Seattle trip. It's just the partial chronicle because I am still here till May 9, 2009. So just bear with the following blogs for now. Thanks....

Friday (May 1, 2009) ..... the start of my vacation. We left Los Angeles at noontime and arrived at Seattle via a lay over at Oakland, CA at around 3:30 pm. We arrived at Ate Julie's house and we then settled down. George updated our host about what had happened to him when they separated and not see each other for a long time.

Saturday (May 2, 2009) ..... we woke up late in the morning at 10 am because we had a long talk with our host the night before. At 11 am our host toured us around the old Renton town, saw the old Boeing building, and took some pictures of the place. The town is a typical small town old America wherein people might knew each other. We dropped off Ate Julie at her work and we headed to the mall. After a little stroll at the mall and purchasing some souvenirs we then picked-up Ate Julie at her work. The weather started to drizzle and was so gloomy. We then went to Ate Julie's friend's house (Maria's) and stayed there waiting for her because she had a catering work at that moment. We were warmly welcomed by Maria's son Justin at the care home, and stayed there for couple of hours watching the Saturday Wowowie. When George saw Maria they had a long chat remisniscing about their memorable past when they live together long time ago. Then we went home after that and watched more Filipino TV. Ate Julie treated us to a hearty dinner. After the dinner we then bade goodbye to Ate Julie and headed to downtown Seattle visiting the Spaceneedle and took some pix. Then we went to Pike's Market and toured around there and ate sea food at Lowell's Restaurant. We then went to Broadway Avenue and had coffee there. We also checked out some of the bars even though the weather is raining. After a rainy Saturday nightout we left downtown at around 1 am and went back home to Renton, Wa.

Sunday (May 3, 2009)..... i was woked up by George at 8:30 half awake and still half dreaming. He told me that his friend Pinkie and her boyfriend Gary will pass by and accompany us to Snoqualmie to see the waterfalls. I just knew from George that Ate Julie left early in the morning for her stay over job and will get home Tuesday morning. I then took a warm shower and prepared my self for our impending activity of the day. Pinkie and company arrived, then we prepared what to bring and then left. Pinkie's boyfriend drove the rental car and it took forty minutes from Renton to get to Snoqualmie. The way to the area was so rustic and the snow-peaked mountains looks stunning and great. The ever green fields of trees were so calm and serene and the freeways appears not so busy despite it is a weekend. When we arrived at Snoqualmie, we then went to the park and located the waterfalls location. We trekked down to where the awesome waterfalls is. It was a tiring walk but when we got there the view was excellent and jaw-dropping. It's worth the long walk. People comes and goes, eager to go down and take some pictures of the majestic waterfalls. We took a lot of pix and enjoyed the beauty of the serene and captivating place. After filling our eyes with the rare beauty of nature we then hiked up to where we park. The hike uphill was so tiring compared to the hike downhill. My thighs and ankles were sore a day after. LOL. After leaving Snoqualmie, Gary drove us back to Seattle and brought us to Alki Walkways near Lake Washington where we can see the backdrop of the city's skylines. We also took several pictures of the place and strolled a little bit near the lakefront. We stayed there for an hour then we headed home. Pinkie stayed over night and had some more talks with her best friend George. It was a very productive and hilarious day. My goal to see a waterfalls was just realized today.

Monday (May 4, 2009) ...... we woke up early and left the house at 7:30 am. Today's destination is Mt. Vernon near Skagit County. We had to drive there for two hours because of the early morning rush hour. We arrived there at early 9 am and we headed at the Tuliptown Farm. I think we were the first customers who arrived there and we then happily perused the area, appreciating different varieties and breeds of tulips, with different colors, and sizes. It was a pretty colorful and amazing sight to watch. We took a lot of pictures and enjoyed the vastness of the tulip farm. We roamed around for about two hours and then drove back to Seattle. We went to the old place where George and Pinkie stayed when they lived here fourteen years ago. The couple who owned the house were still there, and they had a long talk. We then had lunch at the chinese buffet then dropped Pinkie at the place where she is staying. We then drove back to Renton, Wa and rested for the nights agenda which is casino night at Muckleshoot Casino courtesy of George's friend Maria (the care home owner).

So long guys. I will surely come back here and finish the happenings. Ciao.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Flying to Seattle

It's Friday, May 1st, the day when my vacation starts. I was very ecstatic because I have to leave out of town.

I will be gone for seven days enjoying the beautiful sites of the northern part of the country which is Seattle, WA a.k.a. the Emerald City of the Pacific.

I was so excited the night before leaving Los Angeles. Well, I was in my usual self, cramming all the time before the big day comes. That's my nature already and in as much as I wanted to change my self I still go back to my old ways.

A week before the month of April closes I was so busy transferring all my stuff from my old apartment to my new pad. I got this pretty sleek one bedroom place just enough for myself. My Brazilian friend Jose Julio owned the place and is willing to lend it to me for an affordable amount of money, which I immediately grab right away.

My best friend Georgie patiently helped me pack all my stuff and assisted me on my transfer when the mover's picked up all the stuffed boxes on April 21st. But since I have a lot of stuff, I have to gradually opened the boxes whenever I have free time from my hectic hospital and school schedule. I was glad Georgie was there all the time to help me. He's my angel and my help whenever I'm stuck in sticky situations.

So in gratitude, I treated Kuya George to a one week vacation to Seattle, WA to visit all his previous friends. We planned this vacation years ago and now we almost had realized it. Finally, we gave it a chance and so this vacation was set up.

May 1st, it's a Friday, at 9:30 in the morning, after packing all the needed stuff, I took a quick shower and phoned my friend that I will pick him up in thirty minutes. I went and picked him up after and we headed to the airport where I left my car at Lot B to park for the whole time when we're gone. We took the shuttle bus after that and lined ourselves at the concierge to check in.

After getting all our approved boarding pass we then proceeded to the tedious scrutiny of the airport security officers at the airport's entrance. We successfully passed the inspection so we headed to our assigned gate and waited for our plane.

We boarded the plane at 12:10 and flew for 1 hour and 10 minutes where we had a lay over at Oakland, CA. We then boarded some passengers and left for Seattle-Tacoma (Sea-Tac) airport. Our flight took like 2 hours and 15 minutes. We arrived at Sea-Tac at 3:40 pm.

We then, checked for a rental car and got an affordable offer from dollar rental company. After all the necessary checking and paying of our rental car, we went off and headed to Kuya George's friend's house at Renton, WA where we will stay for the whole week.

I met Ate Julie, the house owner, a very accommodating lady. George introduce her to me and I immediately feel at ease with her.

We then, settled in well at ate julie's place. I can't wait looking forward for what will happen in the following days, which for sure I will keep you updated. Can't wait till I come back here and blog for more.