I've been bummed up lately with the idea of working with adult people rather than my usual comfort zone which is pediatric nursing. Doing geriatric care is much much more different than what I used to do.
Since I gave up my long time specialty a year ago I still can't shake off the hardships I've been through just to find another replacement job despite I am still confident doing my daytime teaching job. I think having to face the responsibility of paying two properties in the Philippines had forced me to juggle two jobs just to keep up with my payments and bills.
With the current economic situation here in the United States, facing the wrath of the recession is a big tough job and it's very hard actually. It is not a no brainer task indeed. I have to find a means of looking another alternative for the job I resigned and gave up last year.
I have been accepted in the Emergency room last July last year but it seems that ER is not really meant for me. I was been an object of criticism and ridicule by my preceptor and I ended up failing my probationary period. It even delayed my chances to find an alternative for my resigned hospital job. I was depressed after I got booted out from my probationary period in ER.
But God is good to me. I got hired for a hospice job a month after the rejection. It was tough at first because it requires me a lot of adaptation to get used to this adult care job. It was very different from the one I'm used to do but I had a big fire and urge in me to learn the rigors of the new job.
Now I have to love this new job I got. To me it's just a blessing in disguise to have it in the first place. I was very lucky have land it. I am so blessed that I have landed this job. I felt it was really for me because seeing this elderly people struggling to prolong their life gave me an idea of how they live, feel, and push to make their life meaningful.
I can see their raw testimony in front of me and it really touched me greatly. It was veyr inspiring and heart wrenching. I think this was the awakening God wanted me to see because living in this world is really a tough competition na dit's not very easy. I just can see my life from them full of struggles and challenges.
Having worked with children for eighteen years, I had witnessed the progression of life from the beginning of life until entering adulthood. And now starting to work with older people had gave me the last punch for the missing pieces in my whole nursing experience. It was a sweet realization that my calling was really about the promise of life and what to expect from it.
Working in the nursing home had made me more well equipped on how to deal with people in all walks of life. I was been blessed to have witnessed all of this in my entire nursing career and I feel complete now that I have actually experienced and applied it in my nursing practice.
God always has a reason why I have this and I don't have that. I was just thankful that He did not left me alone and helpless in the desert of confusion and depression. I have those moments sometimes yet I am happy and lucky that I did not gave up in the first place.
I was just so blessed and thankful that I have a job right now. Life is indeed a struggle and we are always responsible of what we decided along the way. So, we must decide wisely and carefully at first because we will suffer if we made a real bad decision. We just couldn't turn back the time and fix that bad decision. It just would not happen.
We should be always responsible of the consequences of our actions. Good luck with all your choices and choose well for there is no easy way to the pursuit of fulfillment and happiness but a wise decision.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Nursing A Bad Heel
I am off today but it seems that I am not moving. I've been procrastinating and not doing anything. I am inert and nonproductive. Plus the fact that I've been nursing an inflammed left Achilles tendon.
Yesterday, I went home from my clinicals limping badly because of my bad arthritis. I can feel some lump at the back of my heel and it hurts a lot. I've been taking the Naproxen tablets I've got from my friend and I am scared because I'm almost running out of it.
Last February I had the same dilemma but it was more painful than the one that I have today. But it seems that I have been bombarded by this most of the time now that I am getting old. My getting old had given me a lot of problems lately, especially with my health situation.
Now, I have to be careful of what I am eating because I will be the one to suffer. Times like this I have nobody to lean on especially when I am so helpless and needed help real bad. I had a bad experience in the past about this and I just don't like to happen it again.
Today, I was been staying at home doing nothing but nursing a very bad heel. This morning I have to go out and move my car because it's street cleaning day. I just don't want to get the ticket and get penalized. When I got back at the apartment I've been limping a lot and it really hurts a lot.
I have a lot of errands to do today but it seems that my plans will be temporarily on hold because of what had happened to my heel. I decided not to move a lot so as not to aggravate what I am feeling on my heel. I think it's much better for me to just take a little rest.
All I did was to just keeping myself rested on the bed trying to avoid moving too much. I also loaded two loads of laundry because I almost ran out of scrubs. But anayways, I am trying to move slowly not to get harmed more. It's really hard but I am making my best.
Life is always on a slo-mo sometimes but we always have to be sure of the consequences of our actions. We should be prepared of what will happen to us and at least make some alternate actions whenever something emergent happened.
We never know what will happen so we have to be prepared and anticipate on what to do. In that we can at least make the most of our time just in case we got stuck.
Yesterday, I went home from my clinicals limping badly because of my bad arthritis. I can feel some lump at the back of my heel and it hurts a lot. I've been taking the Naproxen tablets I've got from my friend and I am scared because I'm almost running out of it.
Last February I had the same dilemma but it was more painful than the one that I have today. But it seems that I have been bombarded by this most of the time now that I am getting old. My getting old had given me a lot of problems lately, especially with my health situation.
Now, I have to be careful of what I am eating because I will be the one to suffer. Times like this I have nobody to lean on especially when I am so helpless and needed help real bad. I had a bad experience in the past about this and I just don't like to happen it again.
Today, I was been staying at home doing nothing but nursing a very bad heel. This morning I have to go out and move my car because it's street cleaning day. I just don't want to get the ticket and get penalized. When I got back at the apartment I've been limping a lot and it really hurts a lot.
I have a lot of errands to do today but it seems that my plans will be temporarily on hold because of what had happened to my heel. I decided not to move a lot so as not to aggravate what I am feeling on my heel. I think it's much better for me to just take a little rest.
All I did was to just keeping myself rested on the bed trying to avoid moving too much. I also loaded two loads of laundry because I almost ran out of scrubs. But anayways, I am trying to move slowly not to get harmed more. It's really hard but I am making my best.
Life is always on a slo-mo sometimes but we always have to be sure of the consequences of our actions. We should be prepared of what will happen to us and at least make some alternate actions whenever something emergent happened.
We never know what will happen so we have to be prepared and anticipate on what to do. In that we can at least make the most of our time just in case we got stuck.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
My Sunday Clinical Class
It was my off yesterday so I have a long time to rest. This morning I woke up so refresh and ready to start my beautiful Sunday morning right. Today is my weekend clinical day and I can't wait to see my Sunday students.
This group is only comprise of seven girls of various ethnicity. Two Filipinos, two Fil-Ams, one Nigerian, one Latina, and one African-American. I like this small group because they are eager to learn and are not very complaining. Their eagerness to learn is very infectious.
Today is their first day at Centinela Hospital Medical Center. Last Friday was their hospital orientation and they were toured around the hospital that time and had attended some very important inservice classes that they needed to take prior to working in that hospital. I hope they have learned a lot form that first day orientation.
So far, they did good today. They were all on their feet the whole day and was been doing routine care as well as had observed some very important procedures. I always encouraged them to be keen in volunteer to assist in any kind of procedures where they can learn a lot. And I was happy that they are learning a lot.
At least my expectations for them was not in vain for my seven girls were very eager to do stuff in the units they were assigned to. I am very happy that they followed what I am telling them to do and they do their best to get so much information on their limited exposure from this hospital.
I went home tired but nonetheless I was extremely happy that my students are very receptive to learning. My fatigue was been compensated well with their infective eagerness to learn and internalize what I am teaching them from the beginning.
Before I got these girls, I heard a lot of rumor about their complaining attitude. But I was surprised they managed to creep out from that bad reputation and ended up a very eager and inquisitive students. I can see the hunger in their eyes to learn every week.
Their insatiability to improve their learning process was very admirable. Their teamwork was very impressive. I am very proud about what they become judging that I was initially biased about having them in the first place. But now I'll take those biases back and change it with pride for their sudden change of attitude.
Can't really complain about these girls because where they are now I am very confident that they will become successful in the near future. I hope they will stay the same after they finish school. I am very proud of you girls and keep up the job well done.
I know we still have a lot of time to be together so hopefully by the time we part each other I hope you all be filled with enough knowledge you needed to prepare for your board exams. I will do my best to have that done for your advantage. That's my promise to all of you!
I hope the remaining three months will be filled with a lot of learning opportunities for you to enhance your nursing knowledge. That's why I am here to guide you for that.
I thank you for giving me a chance to share my knowledge to all of you and I thank you for liking my teaching method as well as style. I learned a lot from you as well as you were learning a lot from me. The symbiosis in our learning relationship was very inspiring and I am greatly motivated by all these energetic and interactive environment we had developed and established.
As I have said, three months is still a long time for us to maintain a very productive learning relationship. Hopefully, life will get tougher although we all know that it is for our own good. My advise to you, just take every second one at a time. Good luck girls!
This group is only comprise of seven girls of various ethnicity. Two Filipinos, two Fil-Ams, one Nigerian, one Latina, and one African-American. I like this small group because they are eager to learn and are not very complaining. Their eagerness to learn is very infectious.
Today is their first day at Centinela Hospital Medical Center. Last Friday was their hospital orientation and they were toured around the hospital that time and had attended some very important inservice classes that they needed to take prior to working in that hospital. I hope they have learned a lot form that first day orientation.
So far, they did good today. They were all on their feet the whole day and was been doing routine care as well as had observed some very important procedures. I always encouraged them to be keen in volunteer to assist in any kind of procedures where they can learn a lot. And I was happy that they are learning a lot.
At least my expectations for them was not in vain for my seven girls were very eager to do stuff in the units they were assigned to. I am very happy that they followed what I am telling them to do and they do their best to get so much information on their limited exposure from this hospital.
I went home tired but nonetheless I was extremely happy that my students are very receptive to learning. My fatigue was been compensated well with their infective eagerness to learn and internalize what I am teaching them from the beginning.
Before I got these girls, I heard a lot of rumor about their complaining attitude. But I was surprised they managed to creep out from that bad reputation and ended up a very eager and inquisitive students. I can see the hunger in their eyes to learn every week.
Their insatiability to improve their learning process was very admirable. Their teamwork was very impressive. I am very proud about what they become judging that I was initially biased about having them in the first place. But now I'll take those biases back and change it with pride for their sudden change of attitude.
Can't really complain about these girls because where they are now I am very confident that they will become successful in the near future. I hope they will stay the same after they finish school. I am very proud of you girls and keep up the job well done.
I know we still have a lot of time to be together so hopefully by the time we part each other I hope you all be filled with enough knowledge you needed to prepare for your board exams. I will do my best to have that done for your advantage. That's my promise to all of you!
I hope the remaining three months will be filled with a lot of learning opportunities for you to enhance your nursing knowledge. That's why I am here to guide you for that.
I thank you for giving me a chance to share my knowledge to all of you and I thank you for liking my teaching method as well as style. I learned a lot from you as well as you were learning a lot from me. The symbiosis in our learning relationship was very inspiring and I am greatly motivated by all these energetic and interactive environment we had developed and established.
As I have said, three months is still a long time for us to maintain a very productive learning relationship. Hopefully, life will get tougher although we all know that it is for our own good. My advise to you, just take every second one at a time. Good luck girls!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The Awakening
Ever since I got home from my month long vacation my blogging was been on halt for the longest time. The stress of my work had given a toll on me and I don't have enough time to do it because I'm always tired every time I go home.
It seems that I'm always rushing everyday trying to just make the time go forward faster. I always feel that I am in a box and was been turning around there until the day is done.
My life is always full of ups and downs but to me it seems that there were more downs most of the time. I've been nice to everybody but it seems that they sometimes took advantage of my kindness and niceness. It hurts a lot but I have to accept the fact that the reality really hurts and time for me to move on by myself.
At least at work I am always busy and have no time to even think about my problems. I am so focused with my work all the time and I always make myself busy not minding the haggard flow of the time which is not even apparent to me because I feel so numb of my own apprehensions.
The fact that I was just trying to forget what my big sister had done to me I still couldn't shake off the fact that I was duped and kept foolish by her. It really hurts and that's the fact. I feel that I'll be living with that shame that my sister had caused me.
Sometimes I felt guilty for spoiling them but can I blame myself for just looking over their welfare and not being so smart enough that I am being took advantaged by my family. It really hurts but I just can't help but to give myself an ultimatum to give it an end.
Yes, I finally gave it an end and now I felt free like a bird as if I am ready to start all over again. Soaring endlessly in the infinite realm of the skies my options were unending and unlimited. I never felt this way before and now I felt so good and great.
They say it took a lot of rock to hit someone's head in order to have a credible and life-changing awakening. It really takes a lot of guts to have awakened from the long slumber of being left like a fool. And I think this holds true for me after all those countless years that I left myself getting duped by my own sister. Yes, I admit it was my fault spoiling them to the max and I felt so guilty for making them very dependent on me.
But hey I was just being nice and be a dutiful little brother. I was just portraying a responsible member of the family and my intentions were pure and truthful. My being a good person was been stained and I felt robbed of my own dignity. It hurts but I have to accept that it had happened to me of all people. I just don't want to be bitter and I just wanted to move on and that's all.
The awakening is a sweet thing that happened to me lately and I felt so blessed that God had never abandoned me despite of the fact that I was being taken advantaged. I just couldn't believed that of all the people that hurt me it is unbelievable that my sister was the culprit of my being stagnant for all these years.
Now is the time to move on and start my life anew. I just don't know where to start from here but I know eventually life would be in conformity of my thinking and goals. At least, I got out of the mess I caused in the first place and got a second chance to not repeat it again but start a new life.
My friends had advised me before to take care of myself first before taking care of others. And now it seems that these words keeps reverberating at the back of my head telling me of my ignorance and negligence to look after my own welfare.
Now it becomes more clear to me that they were all correct about it. My real mistake is that I was so blinded by own delusions to act as the family's breadwinner. And I totally forgotten and neglected about my own self agenda.
Life will be with me again and hope that this awakening will serve as the best lesson for me to be more prudent in everything I do. I have to shake off the past and forget about what happened. Life would be never the same again after this bad awakening.
Well, ultimately this awakening will be considered to be just a bad dream that I will never even consider to have it back in my sleep. I would never ever have it back again in my life because I don't want to fall and hurt badly again. Once is enough and I don't want to have it repeated. I have learned my lessons and that would be the end of it. Enough is enough!
Before my life was been stuck in the mud but now no more, now that I know the truth. Life is not that cruel at all and God has never abandoned me. Thank God for everything!
It seems that I'm always rushing everyday trying to just make the time go forward faster. I always feel that I am in a box and was been turning around there until the day is done.
My life is always full of ups and downs but to me it seems that there were more downs most of the time. I've been nice to everybody but it seems that they sometimes took advantage of my kindness and niceness. It hurts a lot but I have to accept the fact that the reality really hurts and time for me to move on by myself.
At least at work I am always busy and have no time to even think about my problems. I am so focused with my work all the time and I always make myself busy not minding the haggard flow of the time which is not even apparent to me because I feel so numb of my own apprehensions.
The fact that I was just trying to forget what my big sister had done to me I still couldn't shake off the fact that I was duped and kept foolish by her. It really hurts and that's the fact. I feel that I'll be living with that shame that my sister had caused me.
Sometimes I felt guilty for spoiling them but can I blame myself for just looking over their welfare and not being so smart enough that I am being took advantaged by my family. It really hurts but I just can't help but to give myself an ultimatum to give it an end.
Yes, I finally gave it an end and now I felt free like a bird as if I am ready to start all over again. Soaring endlessly in the infinite realm of the skies my options were unending and unlimited. I never felt this way before and now I felt so good and great.
They say it took a lot of rock to hit someone's head in order to have a credible and life-changing awakening. It really takes a lot of guts to have awakened from the long slumber of being left like a fool. And I think this holds true for me after all those countless years that I left myself getting duped by my own sister. Yes, I admit it was my fault spoiling them to the max and I felt so guilty for making them very dependent on me.
But hey I was just being nice and be a dutiful little brother. I was just portraying a responsible member of the family and my intentions were pure and truthful. My being a good person was been stained and I felt robbed of my own dignity. It hurts but I have to accept that it had happened to me of all people. I just don't want to be bitter and I just wanted to move on and that's all.
The awakening is a sweet thing that happened to me lately and I felt so blessed that God had never abandoned me despite of the fact that I was being taken advantaged. I just couldn't believed that of all the people that hurt me it is unbelievable that my sister was the culprit of my being stagnant for all these years.
Now is the time to move on and start my life anew. I just don't know where to start from here but I know eventually life would be in conformity of my thinking and goals. At least, I got out of the mess I caused in the first place and got a second chance to not repeat it again but start a new life.
My friends had advised me before to take care of myself first before taking care of others. And now it seems that these words keeps reverberating at the back of my head telling me of my ignorance and negligence to look after my own welfare.
Now it becomes more clear to me that they were all correct about it. My real mistake is that I was so blinded by own delusions to act as the family's breadwinner. And I totally forgotten and neglected about my own self agenda.
Life will be with me again and hope that this awakening will serve as the best lesson for me to be more prudent in everything I do. I have to shake off the past and forget about what happened. Life would be never the same again after this bad awakening.
Well, ultimately this awakening will be considered to be just a bad dream that I will never even consider to have it back in my sleep. I would never ever have it back again in my life because I don't want to fall and hurt badly again. Once is enough and I don't want to have it repeated. I have learned my lessons and that would be the end of it. Enough is enough!
Before my life was been stuck in the mud but now no more, now that I know the truth. Life is not that cruel at all and God has never abandoned me. Thank God for everything!
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