Partly To Be Blamed

I cannot quite contain myself right now with the sad news I had received yesterday. I am still in denial and shock as well. I felt that the burden was on me because I was the one who is collecting the money for the operation and I gave it to Nancy quite late. I don't know.... but I am feeling it that way. I am more of a worrier so they say. Nancy was always thankful at all times.... because I helped her despite that I never knew her and her husband. She always tells me that I am a good person and that she was very very appreciative of everything that I have done for them. She never complained at all. She was all grateful for me initiating a fund campaign for Jojit's AV shunt operation. I felt also that the time was not on our side. It seems that it was already written in the skies to happen. That Jojit's life's thread was at the near end and that there's no hope anymore. Just like fate I may say....... Time immemorial, I will always remember this fiasco. Haist.. I felt so bad. I felt that Jojit's life was on my hand and I blew it. Partially, I guess that had happened. I don't know.... Life is full of surprises. We don't know what God has in store for us.... Our life is always at the mercy of our God. At least the only thing that I am grateful with is that I have initiated the fund campaign and gave hope to the couple (Jojit & Nancy). I am also thankful that I have known how drawn I am to such hapless situation and had empathized myself for it. It gave me a realization of myself that I am not aware of and that I know now how to handle it have I encountered another situation in the future.