Getting old had given me a big toll and I can't believe I am four scores and four years more and counting. It feels like a smorgasbord feeling actually. So many choices but a little to accomplish. I am basically pressured.The continuity of life is a mystery to me. Why do we have to age? Why do we celebrate birthdays? I grew up not really accustomed to celebrating my birthdays because my parents were kind of not really particular about it. I saw my big brothers and sisters having pictures with big celebration and pictures blowing cakes but I never recalled that I had a cake prepared during my past birthdays.
That probably had made me so passive about celebrating my birthdays. Honestly, it was weird but I kind of figured it out that way. Now, that I am mature enough to understand why, I now know the significance of commemorating someone's birthday. Yes, it is a known fact that being born on this world is a blessing and it is very significant, thus people celebrate. It is an opportunity to experience the rigors of life. Now I understand. What I don't understand is that why we have to succumb to getting old and some way or the other will eventually regress like a child. It pains me a lot to remember my mom and dad in this way. And I don't want to experience it that way.
Anyways, my birthday has started on a wrong foot. I felt so unfortunate that things had happened in a bad start. But all throughout it was fun though. Yesterday, I decided to pick up my car from the dealer because my agent had called me that it was ready. He warned me that the alternator was kinda weak and he told me about the estimates. I asked him how long it will last and he didn't gave me a rough estimated period of time. Thinking that it will last for couple weeks I decided to pick the car up yesterday. He didn't even discourage me nor encourage me to have the alternator fixed. He didn't even warned me not to use a lot of gadgets because it will used up the power. He just let me pick up the car and never warned me anything.
I took the car and drove it home. It drove okay, yes. I then prepared myself for the date that I gonna have for my pre-birthday bash planned for me by my co-workers at Noypitz in Glendale. I left the house, still the car was driving well. At the freeway, I lost the exit and drove over to Burbank, and then I realized that I was lost. I even reached at the Warner Bros. Studios and Saint Joseph Hospital in Burbank and there I finally confirmed that I am lost. I can't believe I just did it, but the car was still driving okay and has no problems or whatsoever.
I tried to regroup myself and reprogrammed the GPS then decided to follow the direction until I hit Freeway 134 going North then I felt that I was on the right track. When I arrived at the place there was no parking and the parking structure was closed and gated. I roamed around and checked for an available spot near the church across the restaurant. I parked and when Ihopped out of the car I figured out that I parked on the bus stop, which is illegal. Then I decided to valet park and gave my car keys to the parking guy. After several minutes the guy came back and told me that the car won't start and he handed the keys back to me.
I went to check the car and tried to start it but it just make a gurgling sound so I was alarmed. I thought it was due to the battery but I won't believe it because the battery was been changed two weeks ago, and it was brand new. Then, I have no option but to make myself believe that it was probably the alternator that my dealer agent had told me before I picked up the car. I have no know-how about cars but I have to conform with my gut feeling that it was the alternator. Well,of all the days to act up my car chose to do it on my date night for my birthday with my colleagues. What a bummer!
I then put the emergency signal light, because I was illegally parked on the bus stop, then immediately called Triple A for consultation and to send someone to check out the car. The lady on the other line said the help will come in thirty minutes. Few minutes after I called Mark and Lalaine came and I told them what happened. Lalaine went inside the restaurant to confirm the reservation then Mark stayed with me to wait for the service guy.
At exactly thirty minutes after I called for help the guy came and I told him about what happened and then he proceed to check the car. After inspection he confirmed that it was the dead alternator. So basically, I have no ride home. I then called Triple A again and asked for a towing service to tow my car at my apartment so that I can bring it at the dealer in the morning. I told the operator that I am at a restaurant celebrating my birthday so I needed the towing before midnight after the dinner party.
I left the car on the side street with the blinking emergency light and then went in the restaurant to eat. Some of my co-workers were there and they meet me with open arms and smile greeting me for my birthday. I hid my worries about my car trouble by putting a good smile and returned the hugs that they've given me but deep inside my thoughts went to my car worries thinking that I will spend more money again for the repairs. I just shored out almost three grand for the repair of the engine's rack and pinion yesterday when I picked up the car, and now this new problem had arised. I felt that I am unfortunately not blessed on this birthday that I have.
After celebrating my previous birthdays with happy faces now my birthday was been faced with alot of car trouble and expenses. I felt that I might probably trade in this car and buy a new one. I was so worried how many more car trouble I will face in the future with this car. I am so worried. I am bound for a vacation next month and I already touched my pocket money and aloowance set aside for that vacation to pay for the repairs. Aaaah.... I am so lost, on my birthday.
But anyway, despite of these troubles, I have to face the moment that I am here now celebrating my 44th birthday at Noypitz Resto withmy colleagues and I have to deal with this for the moment. At least, the towing service will come later so I have enough time to enjoy even thought I am not fully 100% pumped up for the occasion.
We ordered foods and chatted with my colleagues. My boss was also there and some of my close friends at work. It couldn't be denied that I am worried, they knew, but I have to at least keep the occasion fitting so I put on a happy face and enjoyed the moment fleetingly. I am not so wired about it but I am at least holding myself up just for the occasion. I thanked my colleagues for putting up this party for me and I don't want to ruin it just because of my car.
The food came and we started to eat and talk and then they sang a "Happy Birthday" song for me. I blow the blueberry cake that I brought and we took a lot of pictures after that. Then we went to the dance floor and started to join the line dancing. The band was so good and we'd enjoyed teh dancing part.
We went back to our table and continued toeat our food. I even forgot that my car was outside. And all my worries were gone for that few small moements enjoying the company of my co-workers celebrating my birthday with me. It was the most touching moments I've had during that night and I just could not contain myself despite of the unfortunate situation that had happened tomy car.
We disbanded at midnight after taking pictures at the red carpet outside the restaurant then the towing truck had arrived. After saying goodbyes and thanking my friends I then went out and met the towing guy and explained the situation and my plans to tow the car to my place then he set-up the car and pulled it up on the big truck then after that we took off and towed the car to Lemon Grove Avenue where I live.
Yeah, that was the unfortunate situation that had happened during my birthday and I couldn't forget it all through out my life. Now I am "carless" on my birthday and is planning to get a rental car in the morrow after I will drop off the car at the dealer. Then tommorow I am scheduled to watch "Totem" a Cirque du Soliel show at the Los Angeles Harbor which I had planned a a treat for myself on my birthday. I felt good now that I got home safe despite of what had happened to my car. And hopefully tomorrow on my birthday everything will be fruitful and productive. Good night!
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Pre-expectations For My Birthday
Every time I celebrate my annual birthday I usually plan out where I gonna celebrate it. I always come up with an idea to spend time for myself for the whole day. For me it's my day so I have to spend it just for me and me alone. But lately, it seems that getting older had gave a toll on me and I doesn't really expect more to happen because maybe of fear of losing a lot of things like my independence, my physicality, my intelligence, and a lot of things. It kind of scaring me off expecting for something to happen which I usually do before my birthday.
I've been celebrating my birthday most of the time by requesting and doing vacations or maybe having fun in the parks or playgrounds, and those had given me vivid memories that I still treasure forever. It kind of bringing me back to those days reliving what had happened during my birthday.
I've celebrated my birthday in Palm Springs sometime ago and booked a room in one of the resort there (where I forget the name) then had basked myself under the sun and enjoyed the whole day doing spa treatment, sweat in the sauna, and pamper myself just because it is my birthday. It was such a different experience to have done that.
I celebrated my birthday in Italy two years back and that one was also unforgettable. Strolling at the cobblestone streets of Turin, Italy had brought me a lot of unfaded memories that always had reverberated inside my unconsciousness and made me realized that I am a lucky person. Trying on succulent pizzas you may never tasted in your whole life was a blistering blast. I just couldn't ask for more at that time. Italy had given me one of my unforgettable birthday celebration ever. I am so blessed to have it.
Last year, I celebrated my birthday with friends and classmate at the most happiest place on earth..... Disneyland! It was fun regressing and acting like a child again. It gave me at least one day to enjoy being a child.... unihibited despite I am not. Hopping from Disneyland to Disney California Adventure was loaded with memories indelibly inked in my subconscious mind. Meeting with the most celebrated couple..... Mickey and Minnie, was again the icing of the day. I had a blast!
This year, I am planning for a simple birthday. I am working during that dayanyway. I didn't intend to have an off because of my pending one-month vacation in November to Mexico, so I have to maintain the tight end of my pants so that I can enjoy my vacation next month. It was a pinching sacrifice I can wage a war on. I will be working in the clinical rotations during the morning and will meet with my co-workers at "Noypitz", a Filipino comedy bar in Glendale, CA to eat, sing, and party. We will then be doing karaoke and watched a comedy show at the restaurant after a hearty dinner. It sounds fun to me!
The following day, I have a date with my landlord and his boyfriend Joaquin. We will be going out in the evening to eat out then Julio is planning for us to watch a movie. Pretty simple but spending time with my bestfriends is awesome and priceless. There is no words to describe celebrating birthdays with my beloved friends who were very loyal, kind, and caring to me. At least they are family to me now, because I always had consider them as such after living at the house for eight years. It will be an interesting night with them.
This year, I am not expecting to have a high-end birthday bash. All I just wanted is to celebrate my day alone. After my clinical rotations I will be preparing myself to have a dinner alone at "Chi Spacca" (a contemporary Italian chain restaurant by the acclaimed Mario Batali) and will be planning to eat the famous lamb racks. I had reserved this dinner two weeks early in anticipation of my big day. I will be enjoying my food and paired wine that will match my ordered food. At least I can have my alone time and enjoy every moment of it...... happeniing only on my birthday.
After the dinner, I will be going to San Pedro to watch a Cirque de Soliel show called "Totem" which I had booked a month early because the show is always sold out. I just don't want to end up waiting for a long line for just one ticket during my birthday. I have to plan out everything early so that everything will flow out smoothly without any hindrance. Hopefully, the show will titillate me and as well as entertain me for that was my ultimate goal anyway during my birthday.
I just couldn't wait celebrating my birthday alone and make out the most of it. For sure, my Facebook page will be loaded and bombarded with online greetings and well wishes coming from my families and friends abroad. I will be a year old yet, here I am acting like I never aged. A denial everyone normally does especially when it comes to issues of getting old. Hahaha. I don't know why getting old is always a sensitive issue or topic to some? For me, it doesn't matter how old a person is, what matters for me is the inside beauty of the person whether he is young or old.
My birthday will be in four days. Anticipation boils.... angst gets hightened..... expectations are burning...... and the wait gets nearer and nearer. I am not scared of it but am loving the idea that I will be in harmony with myself, now that the reality of getting old is imminent and looming everywhere. I am just cool about and will just wait for it to happen naturally. In the end, the fact that I'm a one year old higher could not be contested and reversed anyway.
I will eventually get old and will get awefully wrinkled. What is important is I had build up a lot of integrity and had made some very few good friends to treasure with. Life is indeed fluid. It does reminds me that life is only temporary and there is no permanence in it.
I've been celebrating my birthday most of the time by requesting and doing vacations or maybe having fun in the parks or playgrounds, and those had given me vivid memories that I still treasure forever. It kind of bringing me back to those days reliving what had happened during my birthday.
I've celebrated my birthday in Palm Springs sometime ago and booked a room in one of the resort there (where I forget the name) then had basked myself under the sun and enjoyed the whole day doing spa treatment, sweat in the sauna, and pamper myself just because it is my birthday. It was such a different experience to have done that.
I celebrated my birthday in Italy two years back and that one was also unforgettable. Strolling at the cobblestone streets of Turin, Italy had brought me a lot of unfaded memories that always had reverberated inside my unconsciousness and made me realized that I am a lucky person. Trying on succulent pizzas you may never tasted in your whole life was a blistering blast. I just couldn't ask for more at that time. Italy had given me one of my unforgettable birthday celebration ever. I am so blessed to have it.
Last year, I celebrated my birthday with friends and classmate at the most happiest place on earth..... Disneyland! It was fun regressing and acting like a child again. It gave me at least one day to enjoy being a child.... unihibited despite I am not. Hopping from Disneyland to Disney California Adventure was loaded with memories indelibly inked in my subconscious mind. Meeting with the most celebrated couple..... Mickey and Minnie, was again the icing of the day. I had a blast!
This year, I am planning for a simple birthday. I am working during that dayanyway. I didn't intend to have an off because of my pending one-month vacation in November to Mexico, so I have to maintain the tight end of my pants so that I can enjoy my vacation next month. It was a pinching sacrifice I can wage a war on. I will be working in the clinical rotations during the morning and will meet with my co-workers at "Noypitz", a Filipino comedy bar in Glendale, CA to eat, sing, and party. We will then be doing karaoke and watched a comedy show at the restaurant after a hearty dinner. It sounds fun to me!
The following day, I have a date with my landlord and his boyfriend Joaquin. We will be going out in the evening to eat out then Julio is planning for us to watch a movie. Pretty simple but spending time with my bestfriends is awesome and priceless. There is no words to describe celebrating birthdays with my beloved friends who were very loyal, kind, and caring to me. At least they are family to me now, because I always had consider them as such after living at the house for eight years. It will be an interesting night with them.
This year, I am not expecting to have a high-end birthday bash. All I just wanted is to celebrate my day alone. After my clinical rotations I will be preparing myself to have a dinner alone at "Chi Spacca" (a contemporary Italian chain restaurant by the acclaimed Mario Batali) and will be planning to eat the famous lamb racks. I had reserved this dinner two weeks early in anticipation of my big day. I will be enjoying my food and paired wine that will match my ordered food. At least I can have my alone time and enjoy every moment of it...... happeniing only on my birthday.
After the dinner, I will be going to San Pedro to watch a Cirque de Soliel show called "Totem" which I had booked a month early because the show is always sold out. I just don't want to end up waiting for a long line for just one ticket during my birthday. I have to plan out everything early so that everything will flow out smoothly without any hindrance. Hopefully, the show will titillate me and as well as entertain me for that was my ultimate goal anyway during my birthday.
I just couldn't wait celebrating my birthday alone and make out the most of it. For sure, my Facebook page will be loaded and bombarded with online greetings and well wishes coming from my families and friends abroad. I will be a year old yet, here I am acting like I never aged. A denial everyone normally does especially when it comes to issues of getting old. Hahaha. I don't know why getting old is always a sensitive issue or topic to some? For me, it doesn't matter how old a person is, what matters for me is the inside beauty of the person whether he is young or old.
My birthday will be in four days. Anticipation boils.... angst gets hightened..... expectations are burning...... and the wait gets nearer and nearer. I am not scared of it but am loving the idea that I will be in harmony with myself, now that the reality of getting old is imminent and looming everywhere. I am just cool about and will just wait for it to happen naturally. In the end, the fact that I'm a one year old higher could not be contested and reversed anyway.
I will eventually get old and will get awefully wrinkled. What is important is I had build up a lot of integrity and had made some very few good friends to treasure with. Life is indeed fluid. It does reminds me that life is only temporary and there is no permanence in it.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
A Sensible Anticipation
In one-month time I will be embarking for a long journey and vacation in Mexico. I had planned it out several months ago and now it's looming around. I am quite anxious about it and doesn't really know what to expect. Hopefully, everything will turn out well and that I will be having a blast and a memorable vacation.
I will be going to Puebla, Mexico to enrich my Spanish knowledge, because I signed up for an intensive three weeks advanced Spanish immersion class which will ultimately improved my knowledge about Spanish, how to talk effectively and use the much dreaded conjugations successfully. I've been planning about joining the classes several years back but because of my intensively hectic and busy schedule at work, I had postponed the plans several times as well. Now, I can't believe that it will be realized. I am greatly excited!
So much to think about it, so much to plan as well. The anticipation was just piling up continuously. I am overly overwhelmed and at the same time I am greatly delighted to have it done. I just can't wait for it to happen. It's gradually killing me on what to prepare and plan. I have a lot of things in mind and I don't think I can accommodate all of them. It had pretty much temporarily blanked me out to a point that I can't think purposefully anymore.
But things needed to be decisively planned and prepared and I have to do it as much as possible while I still have enough time and while it is still early. I have to know what to permanently and temporarily expect from this vacation so that I can plan out my desired activities well according to those laid out expectations that I needed to meet or accomplish. It's the hardest situation to be in, if you don't know yet.
Planning on what important things to bring, what to do effectively, what to see and enjoy visibly, where to go to have fun and learn about the place, and other major as well as minor things to cover during this trip was very enormous to tackle. I have to strictly and cautiously pick and chose the most important and necessary things to do and cover, so that I can enjoy my long vacation. I don't want to marginally cram on this trip so I have to decisively plan it out well.
These previous days, I have made some reservations already. I already bought my ticket for my flights last June. I have to fly to Mexico City from Los Angeles and stay there for the weekend to party and browse the city again, then after that I will take an airconditioned bus going to Puebla on a Monday and will report to the Spanish school for the welcome party. Then I will stay there for three weeks for the intensive Spanish class and the much anticipated volunteer work.
After three weeks, I will fly to Chatumal in the state of Quintana Roo to check another Mayan ruins there, then take the bus going to Tulum after two days to check another different Mayan ruins near a beach, then two days after will go to Playa del Carmen to snorkel at Cozumel, then stop at Cancun the following two days and stay there for three days to enjoy the white sandy beaches then head back to Los Angeles. If I have enough time I might cross the strait and go to Havana..... who knows. We'll see!
All the hotel reservations were been made and paid off as well with the assurance that I can cancel it one day before the check-in if something wrong happens. All the necessary paperworks were been filed in one folder so that I can keep track of my itineraries. I even meticulously made a table of my schedule to organized myself. It was been revised several times to fit my daily agenda.
Now, I have to meticulously plan out on what things and places to do and go when I will be there so I've been conscientiously browsing the internet with determination on what places that are appropriate to visit when I will be there, although I have some few specific places that I was eyeing to visit eventually. I can't wait! I also can't wait for the night travels by an airconditioned bus as I hop from one town to another.
Another thing that I needed to prepare are my wardrobes. I don't know what to prepare and stuff in my luggage. I was planning to travel light because I have experienced in my previous travels that bringing a big luggage and have it towed wherever I go was really hard and a big struggle and burden. So, I have to do my best to just stuff few of my clothes, shoes, and other stuff in a light carry-on luggage to enjoy this trip.
So many things to do and plan for this vacation, yet so little time to do it because I am still working two jobs and am very extremely busy all the time. I needed to save more money for this vacation to enjoy it fully and reap the promises and benefits it has to offer. I just don't want to miss on other things that I needed to do there so I needed to shore up enough money for my own personal enjoyment. Hopefully, I will have a blast! Money is also very important so I have to prepare well for this. Although, it is not a problem at all.
Another thing that I needed to plan is where to leave my cutie-patootie chihuahua light-brown dog. I am extremely worried about her when I am gone. I am thinking who will feed her and take care of her when I am gone. I have talked to my landlord personally if he can do it and fortunately I was lucky enough that he said yes. I will surely miss my beloved Diamond! Thirty days is long a long time and I hope she will miss me, too. I will miss her greatly.
I am also worried where to leave my car. In my previous vacations I left my car at the driveway near the house of my landlord and left the keys to him so that he can heat up my engine everyday so as not to give any problems when I'm back. For this vacation, I am planning to leave my car with my landlord again. I am so lucky that my landlord was so kind enough to take care of my beloved dog and my precious car and my apartment as well when I'm gone. I just can't express my happiness for his kindness, benevolence, and for being there all the time for me in case I need his help. He is indeed a very loyal and reliable friend. Thank you very much Julio!
I'm quite excited now albeit I have this numbing feeling that I have butterflies in my stomach. I just can't wait for my vacation to happen and I am anxiously anticipating for it and preparing for what to do and what to expect. It's really hard to plan and to lay them out, as well as schedule the activities that I expected to do during this vacation, but I have to do it, so that I will have an unforgettable sojourn that I can treasure all through out my life. Hopefully, all will be okay. Please help me Lord.
I will be going to Puebla, Mexico to enrich my Spanish knowledge, because I signed up for an intensive three weeks advanced Spanish immersion class which will ultimately improved my knowledge about Spanish, how to talk effectively and use the much dreaded conjugations successfully. I've been planning about joining the classes several years back but because of my intensively hectic and busy schedule at work, I had postponed the plans several times as well. Now, I can't believe that it will be realized. I am greatly excited!
So much to think about it, so much to plan as well. The anticipation was just piling up continuously. I am overly overwhelmed and at the same time I am greatly delighted to have it done. I just can't wait for it to happen. It's gradually killing me on what to prepare and plan. I have a lot of things in mind and I don't think I can accommodate all of them. It had pretty much temporarily blanked me out to a point that I can't think purposefully anymore.
But things needed to be decisively planned and prepared and I have to do it as much as possible while I still have enough time and while it is still early. I have to know what to permanently and temporarily expect from this vacation so that I can plan out my desired activities well according to those laid out expectations that I needed to meet or accomplish. It's the hardest situation to be in, if you don't know yet.
Planning on what important things to bring, what to do effectively, what to see and enjoy visibly, where to go to have fun and learn about the place, and other major as well as minor things to cover during this trip was very enormous to tackle. I have to strictly and cautiously pick and chose the most important and necessary things to do and cover, so that I can enjoy my long vacation. I don't want to marginally cram on this trip so I have to decisively plan it out well.
These previous days, I have made some reservations already. I already bought my ticket for my flights last June. I have to fly to Mexico City from Los Angeles and stay there for the weekend to party and browse the city again, then after that I will take an airconditioned bus going to Puebla on a Monday and will report to the Spanish school for the welcome party. Then I will stay there for three weeks for the intensive Spanish class and the much anticipated volunteer work.
After three weeks, I will fly to Chatumal in the state of Quintana Roo to check another Mayan ruins there, then take the bus going to Tulum after two days to check another different Mayan ruins near a beach, then two days after will go to Playa del Carmen to snorkel at Cozumel, then stop at Cancun the following two days and stay there for three days to enjoy the white sandy beaches then head back to Los Angeles. If I have enough time I might cross the strait and go to Havana..... who knows. We'll see!
All the hotel reservations were been made and paid off as well with the assurance that I can cancel it one day before the check-in if something wrong happens. All the necessary paperworks were been filed in one folder so that I can keep track of my itineraries. I even meticulously made a table of my schedule to organized myself. It was been revised several times to fit my daily agenda.
Now, I have to meticulously plan out on what things and places to do and go when I will be there so I've been conscientiously browsing the internet with determination on what places that are appropriate to visit when I will be there, although I have some few specific places that I was eyeing to visit eventually. I can't wait! I also can't wait for the night travels by an airconditioned bus as I hop from one town to another.
Another thing that I needed to prepare are my wardrobes. I don't know what to prepare and stuff in my luggage. I was planning to travel light because I have experienced in my previous travels that bringing a big luggage and have it towed wherever I go was really hard and a big struggle and burden. So, I have to do my best to just stuff few of my clothes, shoes, and other stuff in a light carry-on luggage to enjoy this trip.
So many things to do and plan for this vacation, yet so little time to do it because I am still working two jobs and am very extremely busy all the time. I needed to save more money for this vacation to enjoy it fully and reap the promises and benefits it has to offer. I just don't want to miss on other things that I needed to do there so I needed to shore up enough money for my own personal enjoyment. Hopefully, I will have a blast! Money is also very important so I have to prepare well for this. Although, it is not a problem at all.
Another thing that I needed to plan is where to leave my cutie-patootie chihuahua light-brown dog. I am extremely worried about her when I am gone. I am thinking who will feed her and take care of her when I am gone. I have talked to my landlord personally if he can do it and fortunately I was lucky enough that he said yes. I will surely miss my beloved Diamond! Thirty days is long a long time and I hope she will miss me, too. I will miss her greatly.
I am also worried where to leave my car. In my previous vacations I left my car at the driveway near the house of my landlord and left the keys to him so that he can heat up my engine everyday so as not to give any problems when I'm back. For this vacation, I am planning to leave my car with my landlord again. I am so lucky that my landlord was so kind enough to take care of my beloved dog and my precious car and my apartment as well when I'm gone. I just can't express my happiness for his kindness, benevolence, and for being there all the time for me in case I need his help. He is indeed a very loyal and reliable friend. Thank you very much Julio!
I'm quite excited now albeit I have this numbing feeling that I have butterflies in my stomach. I just can't wait for my vacation to happen and I am anxiously anticipating for it and preparing for what to do and what to expect. It's really hard to plan and to lay them out, as well as schedule the activities that I expected to do during this vacation, but I have to do it, so that I will have an unforgettable sojourn that I can treasure all through out my life. Hopefully, all will be okay. Please help me Lord.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
A Teribbly Horrifying Feat
Well.... I had a very horrifying experience earlier before I went to work tonight. That was the first that I have experienced and it sucks to know that I couldn't do anything about it when it happened. I was totally helpless at that time. It was a nightmare which I don't want to dream again. I thought I couldn't get away from it and thank God it was already resolved. My body was trembling and I was nervously wrecked at the time it happened. I was totally shaken by the situation.
Today was the longest day of my life, maybe..... I started off with my clinicals at Los Angeles Community Hospital with my second group from Medical Allied Career Center. It was their first day actually because they have to switch with the other group. Our first day went well actually. They were buddied up with each other and took care of five patients in the Acute Care Unit. At least they were very receptive and did all their care. I was glad I just need to supervise them and helped them quite a bit during the med pass. Well done guys!
Then in the afternoon we did the post-conference at the hospital's conference room and I covered them how to make a drug study, deviced an individualized care plans, solved complex medication math problems, reviewed the facts and guidelines about G-tube feedings which they have to use and take care for this rotation, assessed how they are in doing the patient's physical assessments, and also reviewed some of the internal policies and guidelines of the hospital to them. It went very well.
I went home tired at 1500H and went to sleep because I have to work tonight. My uninterrupted sleep had made me recoup all the lost energy I've had and I woke up fully recharged and feeling fresh. When I woke up at 1830H I then ironed my scrubs and took a refreshingly warm shower. It was already dark when I left the house, heralding the coming of Fall season.
I tried to locate my car which was parked on the street just in front of my apartment. It was already 1915H and I was already late at work. I jitterily inserted the key at the ignition and then I've heard an unrecognizable click and had noticed that my car won't start. I tried to turn off the ignition and started the car again but still I heard the same clicking sound that I've alarmedly heard earlier. On the dash board it shows that the engine and the battery were lighted on, telling me that there was a problem on both. I got scared that there is something wrong with my car.
I was terrified and I don't know what to do. I initially panicked but then I gradually picked up my composure and calmed down myself trying to think on what to do initially. First thing I thought of Julio, my landlord, who usually helped me when it comes to problems like this. I checked the house and apparently it appeared that there was nobody there. It was dark inside. Julio's truck is not either in the driveway, where he used to park. Then suddenly, he and Joaquin, the boyfriend, showed up at the street driving the truck, I think they just went out, and he asked me what happened. I told him about my abrupt dilemma and then I called my work alerting them what had happened and that I will be late.
I then called triple A, a company I am affiliated as a member who always gives assistance to car owners who have trouble on the road and about their cars, and asked for an immediate assistance. The lady on the other line was very kind and nice to help me and she instructed me on what to do and to wait for the assistance or help to come in less than an hour. Julio stayed with me trying to pacify me because I was panicking and quite nervous at that time, thinking that the car engine was probably at fault, thereby I have to prepare more money for the repair. I can't blame myself worrying and anticipating what will happen because I was in a lot of situations pouring money for the repair of this car. I mean it was massively expensive......
Thirty minutes later my rescue from triple A came and assessed my car. He connected this and that, tapped my engine to check it, tested the beam light and the aircondition inside the car which were all working well. He then assessed the battery and determined after that, that the battery was eventually dead and needed to be ultimately replaced. I told Robert, that's his name according to him when I asked him about his name. He told me that he can replace it and he will charge me for the cost, which was very costly, but what could I do, I needed it that time in order for me to leave and show up to work.
I then called my work to update them about the progress then I waited until Robert had installed the new battery fully. Then I breathed so well now because all my anticipating questions earlier was totally not valid and was proven inadequate. Haist..... thank God. It was a relief knowing that the engine was not affected or damaged. But honestly, I was totally freaked out about the idea. I had just spend a lot of money for the new special rim that was just installed because it caused my tire to be flat all the time and now this new problem had come up again. I almost fainted but thank God I didn't.
When Robert had installed the new battery I thanked him for coming over and for fixing my car. I then called my work telling them that I am coming in a few minutes. The car was doing well while I was slowly driving to work. There were no issues about it on my way. Thank God!
I hope this situation will not be repeated again. I have to be sure that everything is in order. This experience had given me some insight about what to do when I got caught with something that will render me helpless and inert. I don't want to experience it again because it had affected me so much, making me worry of things that aren't suppose to be worrying about. I mean it's natural to worry on those but the stress or burden is unbearable. Hopefully things will be great tomorrow. (Crossing my fingers). Great lesson for this day that I don't want to happen again.
Today was the longest day of my life, maybe..... I started off with my clinicals at Los Angeles Community Hospital with my second group from Medical Allied Career Center. It was their first day actually because they have to switch with the other group. Our first day went well actually. They were buddied up with each other and took care of five patients in the Acute Care Unit. At least they were very receptive and did all their care. I was glad I just need to supervise them and helped them quite a bit during the med pass. Well done guys!
Then in the afternoon we did the post-conference at the hospital's conference room and I covered them how to make a drug study, deviced an individualized care plans, solved complex medication math problems, reviewed the facts and guidelines about G-tube feedings which they have to use and take care for this rotation, assessed how they are in doing the patient's physical assessments, and also reviewed some of the internal policies and guidelines of the hospital to them. It went very well.
I went home tired at 1500H and went to sleep because I have to work tonight. My uninterrupted sleep had made me recoup all the lost energy I've had and I woke up fully recharged and feeling fresh. When I woke up at 1830H I then ironed my scrubs and took a refreshingly warm shower. It was already dark when I left the house, heralding the coming of Fall season.
I tried to locate my car which was parked on the street just in front of my apartment. It was already 1915H and I was already late at work. I jitterily inserted the key at the ignition and then I've heard an unrecognizable click and had noticed that my car won't start. I tried to turn off the ignition and started the car again but still I heard the same clicking sound that I've alarmedly heard earlier. On the dash board it shows that the engine and the battery were lighted on, telling me that there was a problem on both. I got scared that there is something wrong with my car.
I was terrified and I don't know what to do. I initially panicked but then I gradually picked up my composure and calmed down myself trying to think on what to do initially. First thing I thought of Julio, my landlord, who usually helped me when it comes to problems like this. I checked the house and apparently it appeared that there was nobody there. It was dark inside. Julio's truck is not either in the driveway, where he used to park. Then suddenly, he and Joaquin, the boyfriend, showed up at the street driving the truck, I think they just went out, and he asked me what happened. I told him about my abrupt dilemma and then I called my work alerting them what had happened and that I will be late.
I then called triple A, a company I am affiliated as a member who always gives assistance to car owners who have trouble on the road and about their cars, and asked for an immediate assistance. The lady on the other line was very kind and nice to help me and she instructed me on what to do and to wait for the assistance or help to come in less than an hour. Julio stayed with me trying to pacify me because I was panicking and quite nervous at that time, thinking that the car engine was probably at fault, thereby I have to prepare more money for the repair. I can't blame myself worrying and anticipating what will happen because I was in a lot of situations pouring money for the repair of this car. I mean it was massively expensive......
Thirty minutes later my rescue from triple A came and assessed my car. He connected this and that, tapped my engine to check it, tested the beam light and the aircondition inside the car which were all working well. He then assessed the battery and determined after that, that the battery was eventually dead and needed to be ultimately replaced. I told Robert, that's his name according to him when I asked him about his name. He told me that he can replace it and he will charge me for the cost, which was very costly, but what could I do, I needed it that time in order for me to leave and show up to work.
I then called my work to update them about the progress then I waited until Robert had installed the new battery fully. Then I breathed so well now because all my anticipating questions earlier was totally not valid and was proven inadequate. Haist..... thank God. It was a relief knowing that the engine was not affected or damaged. But honestly, I was totally freaked out about the idea. I had just spend a lot of money for the new special rim that was just installed because it caused my tire to be flat all the time and now this new problem had come up again. I almost fainted but thank God I didn't.
When Robert had installed the new battery I thanked him for coming over and for fixing my car. I then called my work telling them that I am coming in a few minutes. The car was doing well while I was slowly driving to work. There were no issues about it on my way. Thank God!
I hope this situation will not be repeated again. I have to be sure that everything is in order. This experience had given me some insight about what to do when I got caught with something that will render me helpless and inert. I don't want to experience it again because it had affected me so much, making me worry of things that aren't suppose to be worrying about. I mean it's natural to worry on those but the stress or burden is unbearable. Hopefully things will be great tomorrow. (Crossing my fingers). Great lesson for this day that I don't want to happen again.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
I Obviously Noticed
Yeah.... it seems that I am oozing with confidence today. I don't know what is happening but I woke up this morning so pumped up despite I had insomnia last night and went to sleep at 0200H. I only slept for three hours and I still feel so relaxed.
It was still dark when I woke up this morning, a sign that Fall had indeed settled in. I am used to the bright morning that Summer had been ushering in few months back but it seems that Fall season was been looming around everywhere.
My body clock seems to like and got used to the bright morning and it will be hard for me to adapt again for the next season. I noticed that the weather in the morning was quite windy and cold lately and I like it better compared to the slight humidity of the Summer. Yeah... I like Fall and Winter season, because of the cold breeze of the early morning day.
I drove to work this morning going to Torrance because I have a clinical rotation with Batch 44B at TCCW and it was still dark when I left the house at 0615H. Usually, it was springlike bright on those times. The traffic was already heavy at that time and I feared that I will be probably late. (Actually, just slightly because I arrived at 0705H, at the clinical site, just five minutes tardy. Lol.)
I started my early morning conference with the students, still feeling confident, and telling them what to do by explaining our goals and expectations for the day. I am happy that the students were very accepting of today's goals and they seem to be very compliant and reliant about it.
I hand them the forms that they needed to submit during the post-conference later, including the pathophysiology, the mini care plan, and the drug studies. They were very receptive at it.
Then come their medication process, I asked them questions about the drugs that they were preparing and they were very ready for it, although there were some who still struggled explaning about the drugs that they are preparing. It was just a minor mistake and I can handle it. It only needs a little polishing and they will be okay.
We medicated the residents, did the morning care, changed the G-tube dressing, assess the G-tube site, got the accuchecks and covered the insulin injections. It was a very busy day but we survived the challenge. Thank God!
At post-conference we answered some practice test about the enteral tube feeding questions and did some intravenous calculations which they had struggled a lot. Well, I might probably focus on this calculation thing for them to get familiar with. Time will come they will get better about all the needed calculations process.
I am glad that I am a part of this very receptive group who wants to learn a lot from their rotation. They were not that demanding nor complained for anything about the amount of work I put them in. They were extremely very eager to learn all things and I am glad that they have the drive to do it. In my observation, they would likely to succeed in the future.
I think this really made me so confident today. The aura that I exerted and showed earlier was beyond explanation. I was just there telling them what to do. It fattens my heart because they are all eager to learn with me today. I hope they will keep this spirit until fourth term, when they finished. Yeah, I like this group. I like Batch 44B!
It was still dark when I woke up this morning, a sign that Fall had indeed settled in. I am used to the bright morning that Summer had been ushering in few months back but it seems that Fall season was been looming around everywhere.
My body clock seems to like and got used to the bright morning and it will be hard for me to adapt again for the next season. I noticed that the weather in the morning was quite windy and cold lately and I like it better compared to the slight humidity of the Summer. Yeah... I like Fall and Winter season, because of the cold breeze of the early morning day.
I drove to work this morning going to Torrance because I have a clinical rotation with Batch 44B at TCCW and it was still dark when I left the house at 0615H. Usually, it was springlike bright on those times. The traffic was already heavy at that time and I feared that I will be probably late. (Actually, just slightly because I arrived at 0705H, at the clinical site, just five minutes tardy. Lol.)
I started my early morning conference with the students, still feeling confident, and telling them what to do by explaining our goals and expectations for the day. I am happy that the students were very accepting of today's goals and they seem to be very compliant and reliant about it.
I hand them the forms that they needed to submit during the post-conference later, including the pathophysiology, the mini care plan, and the drug studies. They were very receptive at it.
Then come their medication process, I asked them questions about the drugs that they were preparing and they were very ready for it, although there were some who still struggled explaning about the drugs that they are preparing. It was just a minor mistake and I can handle it. It only needs a little polishing and they will be okay.
We medicated the residents, did the morning care, changed the G-tube dressing, assess the G-tube site, got the accuchecks and covered the insulin injections. It was a very busy day but we survived the challenge. Thank God!
At post-conference we answered some practice test about the enteral tube feeding questions and did some intravenous calculations which they had struggled a lot. Well, I might probably focus on this calculation thing for them to get familiar with. Time will come they will get better about all the needed calculations process.
I am glad that I am a part of this very receptive group who wants to learn a lot from their rotation. They were not that demanding nor complained for anything about the amount of work I put them in. They were extremely very eager to learn all things and I am glad that they have the drive to do it. In my observation, they would likely to succeed in the future.
I think this really made me so confident today. The aura that I exerted and showed earlier was beyond explanation. I was just there telling them what to do. It fattens my heart because they are all eager to learn with me today. I hope they will keep this spirit until fourth term, when they finished. Yeah, I like this group. I like Batch 44B!
Monday, October 7, 2013
Blooming And Fleeting Excitement
Yeah, I'm up for an impending long vacation next month and I'm really excited about it. It will be a month long vacation. I intend half of it for a volunteer work and another half for adventure. I hope it will be a very enjoyable and memorable vacation just like my previous vacation.
My goal for this vacation is to serve the community as well as learn Spanish. I signed up for a three weeks Spanish immersion class in Puebla, Mexico. The school that I'm going there was been recommended well online and I hope my expectations will be fully met. My excitement really brew extremely and I can't wait for it to happen. I am glad I decided for it.
Honestly, this is an adventure decision. I didn't know what to expect really. I'll be on my own for this without the help of a guide or my friend wholives there. I didn't even informed my friend that I will be going back there for a schooling. I am very much inclined to learn everything on my own. I hope I will survive it.
Well, I hope it will not be dangerous down there. Judging with my previous vacation there it seems that it is safe touring there. I saw some Europeans there taking classes and living the life of a student learning new languages. I am just not sure if I can blend in but I will try. My adventurous nature tells me to go so here I am signing up for the course.
In between the classes, according to the brochure, it says that we can opt in volunteering. So, I planned to volunteer in an orphanage or teaching Math, English, and Science in elementary and high school. This is my long time dream to help and volunteer so here I am. Thank God I decided for it. I hope it will be a great learning process as well as a life changing adventure.
I made some plans for places to go and most of the places I will go are mostly found in the state of Quintana Roo. Included in my trip was to see the Olmec place in Tula, Hidalgo as well as the Prismos Basalticos Falls in Hidalgo state as well. I also want to see the pyramid ruins of El Tajin in Veracruz as well as the other Mayan ruins in Chetamal and the Zapotec ruins in Monte Alban in Oaxaca. So many interesting places to go and I don't know what to do.
What I really expect form this long vacation i sto achieve my ultimate goal to learn Spanish extensively so that I can communicate well during my travels there because I am still planning to go back there and see more beautiful and magnificent places. I am also planning to travel in South America every year hence studying Spanish is really a must. And that is my ultimate goal for this vacation. That is why I am there for a three weeks extensive class which I am excited about.
I will be meeting a lot of people from all over the world. Who knows I might be good friends with them. I am super ecstatic about it and I wish it could be tomorrow. Hehehe. Haist.... I just cannot describe what I am feeling right now. It's just that anxiety had been building up gradually. I feel that I have butterflies in my stomach and that I am really in a "flight or fight" situation. You know what I mean.....
There are some manifestations like I couldn't eat, couldn't concentrate or focus, couldn't put things at the right places. Very hard to imagine. How I wish it's starting now so that my anxieties could be lessened. It's killing me softly.... as what the song says. Damn..... I just can't wait for it to happen. As if it is a matter of life and death..... I don't know why I felt like this. It could be I'm so burned out at work and just wanted to escape from it. Who knows!
Apparently, I have to b erealistic here. I have to focus that it will happen in one month's time so that it won't defeat the fleeting excitement that I feel. I have to makes plans so that every thing will be organized and will be in order. It's just the right thing to do for now. And focusing all my energy to dawdle for a thing that is not suppose to happen will cause more apprehensions and anxieties. That I needed to get rid of.
I just can't describe my excitement right now. Everything that I feel right now is just an anticipation of what is looming or coming. It is just temporary. Albeit it is fleeting. So what I have to do now is to get back to reality and get on to my horses and do as well as plan for the right reasons. Good luck to me. Oh... I just can;t wait for it to happen. Aaahh.....
My goal for this vacation is to serve the community as well as learn Spanish. I signed up for a three weeks Spanish immersion class in Puebla, Mexico. The school that I'm going there was been recommended well online and I hope my expectations will be fully met. My excitement really brew extremely and I can't wait for it to happen. I am glad I decided for it.
Honestly, this is an adventure decision. I didn't know what to expect really. I'll be on my own for this without the help of a guide or my friend wholives there. I didn't even informed my friend that I will be going back there for a schooling. I am very much inclined to learn everything on my own. I hope I will survive it.
Well, I hope it will not be dangerous down there. Judging with my previous vacation there it seems that it is safe touring there. I saw some Europeans there taking classes and living the life of a student learning new languages. I am just not sure if I can blend in but I will try. My adventurous nature tells me to go so here I am signing up for the course.
In between the classes, according to the brochure, it says that we can opt in volunteering. So, I planned to volunteer in an orphanage or teaching Math, English, and Science in elementary and high school. This is my long time dream to help and volunteer so here I am. Thank God I decided for it. I hope it will be a great learning process as well as a life changing adventure.
I made some plans for places to go and most of the places I will go are mostly found in the state of Quintana Roo. Included in my trip was to see the Olmec place in Tula, Hidalgo as well as the Prismos Basalticos Falls in Hidalgo state as well. I also want to see the pyramid ruins of El Tajin in Veracruz as well as the other Mayan ruins in Chetamal and the Zapotec ruins in Monte Alban in Oaxaca. So many interesting places to go and I don't know what to do.
What I really expect form this long vacation i sto achieve my ultimate goal to learn Spanish extensively so that I can communicate well during my travels there because I am still planning to go back there and see more beautiful and magnificent places. I am also planning to travel in South America every year hence studying Spanish is really a must. And that is my ultimate goal for this vacation. That is why I am there for a three weeks extensive class which I am excited about.
I will be meeting a lot of people from all over the world. Who knows I might be good friends with them. I am super ecstatic about it and I wish it could be tomorrow. Hehehe. Haist.... I just cannot describe what I am feeling right now. It's just that anxiety had been building up gradually. I feel that I have butterflies in my stomach and that I am really in a "flight or fight" situation. You know what I mean.....
There are some manifestations like I couldn't eat, couldn't concentrate or focus, couldn't put things at the right places. Very hard to imagine. How I wish it's starting now so that my anxieties could be lessened. It's killing me softly.... as what the song says. Damn..... I just can't wait for it to happen. As if it is a matter of life and death..... I don't know why I felt like this. It could be I'm so burned out at work and just wanted to escape from it. Who knows!
Apparently, I have to b erealistic here. I have to focus that it will happen in one month's time so that it won't defeat the fleeting excitement that I feel. I have to makes plans so that every thing will be organized and will be in order. It's just the right thing to do for now. And focusing all my energy to dawdle for a thing that is not suppose to happen will cause more apprehensions and anxieties. That I needed to get rid of.
I just can't describe my excitement right now. Everything that I feel right now is just an anticipation of what is looming or coming. It is just temporary. Albeit it is fleeting. So what I have to do now is to get back to reality and get on to my horses and do as well as plan for the right reasons. Good luck to me. Oh... I just can;t wait for it to happen. Aaahh.....
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Two Sizes Up
For several weeks I was suffering some blister pain on my small toe on the right foot and I was limping severely that I couldn't take it anymore. The pain was very intense. Even when driving it hurts that I could barely step on the pedals and had affected my driving a lot. I was so scared thinking that I might get another accident which I just barely recovered four months ago.
I thought the pain was due to my existing connective tissue problem called gout. A disorder that made some joints get inflammed due to increase deposits of uric acid crystals. I was greatly worried that I could not get over it because the pain was very intense. I tried to observe myself what really caused it but it was still a puzzle for me why it is happening. I have no clue whatsoever. I tried to curtail some of the foods that I ate that can affect my gout to flare up but it is still not helping. Tried to lose weight and observed what happened but still the pain still persists.
One day I decided to go shopping for shoes because it really hurts every time I wear my old shoes thinking that I might get a bigger one to at least alleviate the pain. When I decided to change my shoes to a larger size, because I have to stop wearing my size 8 shoes due to the fact that it really hurts when I wear them, I noticed much greater improvement. Apparently my inordinate limping was gone. I had walked normally now and much more stable than the previous days. My new Toms canvas shoes which is size 10 had brought me relief and had eased the pain that I have felt on my small toe in my right foot, which I had suffered for a few weeks back. It was a totally new feeling that I have experienced and I have figured out that every thing was okay now.
I was already beginning to think that maybe it was a part of my aging process and I was kinda bargaining to myself that if it is my gout that had caused it then I have to go see my doctor because I really can't stand or tolerate it. I have impulsively taken Voltaren and Neurontin alternately to relieve the excruciating pain but they're still not working. I was so existentially desperate to have the pain eased up a little bit that time and I don't know what to do at those moements when I have suffered the unrelieved nagging pains. It was embarrassing for me to walk limply and always shyly uttering "ouch! ouch" all the time. I was very so embarrassed and at the same time excessively depressed.
I thanked God that my suspicions were totally wrong. Needless to say I am still not confident of my findings so I have to make measure to avoid myself from experiencing it again. I still have schedule an appointment to see my primary doctor and tell him what had happened so that he will know and might probably help me out in sorting out the problem and make some plans on how to prveent it form occuring next time. Right now I feel more better and had breathed normally now. My concerns were all eased up and I am grateful that everything was okay although I still have to find out what happene dby visiting my physician.
On the otherhand, I went shopping yesterday for some Levi's pants (which is my favirite jeans of all time) and also noticed that my pant's sizes had climbed two sizes more. I was so surprised about it that I thought I had gained so much weight. I thought I'm still the same size 34 but when I fitted the pants it looks so tight on me and I looked like a wrapped burrito and I couldn't breath well. But when I tried the size 36 it just fit right without causing for me to tuck in my stomach and affect my breathing. That was really surprising.!
I was also flabbergasted about the facts that I have gathered. I know I have gained weight slightly but I never knew that my shoe's and pant's size had already drastically changed. It was not expected of me to have those numbers increased. Or shall I say I didn't really expect that those numbers will climbed a notch up. I never thought I could grow more inches. It's just too surprising! Tha's why I felt so clumsy most of the time.
So now I know what is happening to me. I thought that my gout had worsened and had contributed to my debility on my foot and had also increase my pant's and shoe's sizes. Would that be strange? Yeah, for me it was. It's not just like that but it was highly unlikely for me to happen on my age at 43. It was impossible for it to happen but it did happened. How astonishing!
But oh well, granted that it had happened, I have to face the reality that all those changes in my body had already occured and just for me to accept and face the fact that I am evolving and thriving as a normal human being. Being at a four score age is kinda surprising but yeah it does happen and it did to me. It's just that I am still in the denial process and never really had communed to my inner soul to accept the fact that my old me was gone physically and that I am still entitled to grow. Hehehe.
It's a fact that we all change but for me only physically but not my inner soul which is the same me. It's kind of awkward to feel that I grew few more sizes but I know my inner me is still there. I just have to accept those changes and outgrow it. Life evolves so am I..... and also we are. I just probably have to learn from it and make themost of it maybe. But it's still kinda strange and awkward. Oh well...... whatever!
I thought the pain was due to my existing connective tissue problem called gout. A disorder that made some joints get inflammed due to increase deposits of uric acid crystals. I was greatly worried that I could not get over it because the pain was very intense. I tried to observe myself what really caused it but it was still a puzzle for me why it is happening. I have no clue whatsoever. I tried to curtail some of the foods that I ate that can affect my gout to flare up but it is still not helping. Tried to lose weight and observed what happened but still the pain still persists.
One day I decided to go shopping for shoes because it really hurts every time I wear my old shoes thinking that I might get a bigger one to at least alleviate the pain. When I decided to change my shoes to a larger size, because I have to stop wearing my size 8 shoes due to the fact that it really hurts when I wear them, I noticed much greater improvement. Apparently my inordinate limping was gone. I had walked normally now and much more stable than the previous days. My new Toms canvas shoes which is size 10 had brought me relief and had eased the pain that I have felt on my small toe in my right foot, which I had suffered for a few weeks back. It was a totally new feeling that I have experienced and I have figured out that every thing was okay now.
I was already beginning to think that maybe it was a part of my aging process and I was kinda bargaining to myself that if it is my gout that had caused it then I have to go see my doctor because I really can't stand or tolerate it. I have impulsively taken Voltaren and Neurontin alternately to relieve the excruciating pain but they're still not working. I was so existentially desperate to have the pain eased up a little bit that time and I don't know what to do at those moements when I have suffered the unrelieved nagging pains. It was embarrassing for me to walk limply and always shyly uttering "ouch! ouch" all the time. I was very so embarrassed and at the same time excessively depressed.
I thanked God that my suspicions were totally wrong. Needless to say I am still not confident of my findings so I have to make measure to avoid myself from experiencing it again. I still have schedule an appointment to see my primary doctor and tell him what had happened so that he will know and might probably help me out in sorting out the problem and make some plans on how to prveent it form occuring next time. Right now I feel more better and had breathed normally now. My concerns were all eased up and I am grateful that everything was okay although I still have to find out what happene dby visiting my physician.
On the otherhand, I went shopping yesterday for some Levi's pants (which is my favirite jeans of all time) and also noticed that my pant's sizes had climbed two sizes more. I was so surprised about it that I thought I had gained so much weight. I thought I'm still the same size 34 but when I fitted the pants it looks so tight on me and I looked like a wrapped burrito and I couldn't breath well. But when I tried the size 36 it just fit right without causing for me to tuck in my stomach and affect my breathing. That was really surprising.!
I was also flabbergasted about the facts that I have gathered. I know I have gained weight slightly but I never knew that my shoe's and pant's size had already drastically changed. It was not expected of me to have those numbers increased. Or shall I say I didn't really expect that those numbers will climbed a notch up. I never thought I could grow more inches. It's just too surprising! Tha's why I felt so clumsy most of the time.
So now I know what is happening to me. I thought that my gout had worsened and had contributed to my debility on my foot and had also increase my pant's and shoe's sizes. Would that be strange? Yeah, for me it was. It's not just like that but it was highly unlikely for me to happen on my age at 43. It was impossible for it to happen but it did happened. How astonishing!
But oh well, granted that it had happened, I have to face the reality that all those changes in my body had already occured and just for me to accept and face the fact that I am evolving and thriving as a normal human being. Being at a four score age is kinda surprising but yeah it does happen and it did to me. It's just that I am still in the denial process and never really had communed to my inner soul to accept the fact that my old me was gone physically and that I am still entitled to grow. Hehehe.
It's a fact that we all change but for me only physically but not my inner soul which is the same me. It's kind of awkward to feel that I grew few more sizes but I know my inner me is still there. I just have to accept those changes and outgrow it. Life evolves so am I..... and also we are. I just probably have to learn from it and make themost of it maybe. But it's still kinda strange and awkward. Oh well...... whatever!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
October Just Sets In
Yes, it's that time of the year again that nearly closing out 2013. And it is the month that I got to remind myself that I am another year older. I am quite in denial that I am getting old but oh well, everybody go through that anyway.
October my birth month and I couldn't be more thankful for all the blessings that I have got this year. I know that life has to go on and there is no stopping it. Although, I am still not quite ready to get old. Hmmm.... sounds like I wanted to get stuck at being 40. Sounds good but it's not really possible.
It seems that the months of 2013 just breezed through and it's three months away and it will be over. Another year with set in and another challenges will come by. It seems that time is so fast and there is no permanence in it. I have no idea really what will happen.
Setting goals is very important to make life easier. Having a plans on what to do just keep me more productive. Sometimes there were times that I've got timid and I can't help it. I may have not like it but I did it unwillingly. It's not easy to get stuck to a point that it derails my thinking sometimes. It's quite scary!
Next month, I will embark on a month long journey down south to find myself some serenity and to do what I like to accomplish. I will take it one at a time so that there will be no repercussions in the end. I will plan out each day so that my journey will be fruitful and successful. I have some goals already in mind and it makes me more inspired and watchful as the days shortens. I just can't wait to have it happen. I will always enjoy the moment.
I guess it's time for me again to get away from the tight rein of work. I felt burnt out already. I needed some fresh air and hopefully my month long vacation will be enough for me to enjoy myself and just don't think about work. I always longed to get away just to bask myself with very inspiring places that I like to spend in. Nothing can beat the promises of being away from a busy environment wherein silence will be eternal. Oh how I like that ecstatic feeling.
My goal for this vacation is to lose a lot of weight. Due to my negligence, I have gained so much weight the past month and now I am suffering with bone pains and shortness of breath. I wanted to use my time away from work to lose weight by exercising everyday. I planned to do a lot of walking and running there and also do some gym visits if time will permit.
The reason that I am leaving is because I signed out for a translation class and I wanted to know Spanish better so it's just hightime for me to take action by applying for the Spanish class.
I have a lot in my mind to happen but I could be more excited to have them done. Needless to know that I have only myself to do it so I just have to take everything one at a time and hopefully everything will be all right.
I'm not packed yet but eventually I will do it. It's just that I have to enjoy this month first by celebrating my natal day and just enjoy the promises of time despite the fact that I am a year older and wiser as well. Good luck to me for this year and hopefully all will be well. Can't complain really. Ciao!
October my birth month and I couldn't be more thankful for all the blessings that I have got this year. I know that life has to go on and there is no stopping it. Although, I am still not quite ready to get old. Hmmm.... sounds like I wanted to get stuck at being 40. Sounds good but it's not really possible.
It seems that the months of 2013 just breezed through and it's three months away and it will be over. Another year with set in and another challenges will come by. It seems that time is so fast and there is no permanence in it. I have no idea really what will happen.
Setting goals is very important to make life easier. Having a plans on what to do just keep me more productive. Sometimes there were times that I've got timid and I can't help it. I may have not like it but I did it unwillingly. It's not easy to get stuck to a point that it derails my thinking sometimes. It's quite scary!
Next month, I will embark on a month long journey down south to find myself some serenity and to do what I like to accomplish. I will take it one at a time so that there will be no repercussions in the end. I will plan out each day so that my journey will be fruitful and successful. I have some goals already in mind and it makes me more inspired and watchful as the days shortens. I just can't wait to have it happen. I will always enjoy the moment.
I guess it's time for me again to get away from the tight rein of work. I felt burnt out already. I needed some fresh air and hopefully my month long vacation will be enough for me to enjoy myself and just don't think about work. I always longed to get away just to bask myself with very inspiring places that I like to spend in. Nothing can beat the promises of being away from a busy environment wherein silence will be eternal. Oh how I like that ecstatic feeling.
My goal for this vacation is to lose a lot of weight. Due to my negligence, I have gained so much weight the past month and now I am suffering with bone pains and shortness of breath. I wanted to use my time away from work to lose weight by exercising everyday. I planned to do a lot of walking and running there and also do some gym visits if time will permit.
The reason that I am leaving is because I signed out for a translation class and I wanted to know Spanish better so it's just hightime for me to take action by applying for the Spanish class.
I have a lot in my mind to happen but I could be more excited to have them done. Needless to know that I have only myself to do it so I just have to take everything one at a time and hopefully everything will be all right.
I'm not packed yet but eventually I will do it. It's just that I have to enjoy this month first by celebrating my natal day and just enjoy the promises of time despite the fact that I am a year older and wiser as well. Good luck to me for this year and hopefully all will be well. Can't complain really. Ciao!
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