For several weeks I was suffering some blister pain on my small toe on the right foot and I was limping severely that I couldn't take it anymore. The pain was very intense. Even when driving it hurts that I could barely step on the pedals and had affected my driving a lot. I was so scared thinking that I might get another accident which I just barely recovered four months ago.
I thought the pain was due to my existing connective tissue problem called gout. A disorder that made some joints get inflammed due to increase deposits of uric acid crystals. I was greatly worried that I could not get over it because the pain was very intense. I tried to observe myself what really caused it but it was still a puzzle for me why it is happening. I have no clue whatsoever. I tried to curtail some of the foods that I ate that can affect my gout to flare up but it is still not helping. Tried to lose weight and observed what happened but still the pain still persists.
One day I decided to go shopping for shoes because it really hurts every time I wear my old shoes thinking that I might get a bigger one to at least alleviate the pain. When I decided to change my shoes to a larger size, because I have to stop wearing my size 8 shoes due to the fact that it really hurts when I wear them, I noticed much greater improvement. Apparently my inordinate limping was gone. I had walked normally now and much more stable than the previous days. My new Toms canvas shoes which is size 10 had brought me relief and had eased the pain that I have felt on my small toe in my right foot, which I had suffered for a few weeks back. It was a totally new feeling that I have experienced and I have figured out that every thing was okay now.
I was already beginning to think that maybe it was a part of my aging process and I was kinda bargaining to myself that if it is my gout that had caused it then I have to go see my doctor because I really can't stand or tolerate it. I have impulsively taken Voltaren and Neurontin alternately to relieve the excruciating pain but they're still not working. I was so existentially desperate to have the pain eased up a little bit that time and I don't know what to do at those moements when I have suffered the unrelieved nagging pains. It was embarrassing for me to walk limply and always shyly uttering "ouch! ouch" all the time. I was very so embarrassed and at the same time excessively depressed.
I thanked God that my suspicions were totally wrong. Needless to say I am still not confident of my findings so I have to make measure to avoid myself from experiencing it again. I still have schedule an appointment to see my primary doctor and tell him what had happened so that he will know and might probably help me out in sorting out the problem and make some plans on how to prveent it form occuring next time. Right now I feel more better and had breathed normally now. My concerns were all eased up and I am grateful that everything was okay although I still have to find out what happene dby visiting my physician.
On the otherhand, I went shopping yesterday for some Levi's pants (which is my favirite jeans of all time) and also noticed that my pant's sizes had climbed two sizes more. I was so surprised about it that I thought I had gained so much weight. I thought I'm still the same size 34 but when I fitted the pants it looks so tight on me and I looked like a wrapped burrito and I couldn't breath well. But when I tried the size 36 it just fit right without causing for me to tuck in my stomach and affect my breathing. That was really surprising.!
I was also flabbergasted about the facts that I have gathered. I know I have gained weight slightly but I never knew that my shoe's and pant's size had already drastically changed. It was not expected of me to have those numbers increased. Or shall I say I didn't really expect that those numbers will climbed a notch up. I never thought I could grow more inches. It's just too surprising! Tha's why I felt so clumsy most of the time.
So now I know what is happening to me. I thought that my gout had worsened and had contributed to my debility on my foot and had also increase my pant's and shoe's sizes. Would that be strange? Yeah, for me it was. It's not just like that but it was highly unlikely for me to happen on my age at 43. It was impossible for it to happen but it did happened. How astonishing!
But oh well, granted that it had happened, I have to face the reality that all those changes in my body had already occured and just for me to accept and face the fact that I am evolving and thriving as a normal human being. Being at a four score age is kinda surprising but yeah it does happen and it did to me. It's just that I am still in the denial process and never really had communed to my inner soul to accept the fact that my old me was gone physically and that I am still entitled to grow. Hehehe.
It's a fact that we all change but for me only physically but not my inner soul which is the same me. It's kind of awkward to feel that I grew few more sizes but I know my inner me is still there. I just have to accept those changes and outgrow it. Life evolves so am I..... and also we are. I just probably have to learn from it and make themost of it maybe. But it's still kinda strange and awkward. Oh well...... whatever!
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