My Comeuppance For Being So Kind

Still had a dilemma about my existence. Am I going to enjoy being single? Or am I just going to assume the responsibilities of other people which is not even my own responsibilities? Am I that unfortunate to be kind to those people who are lazy and just feel fortunate that I am here assuming what they ought to be functioning?

I am in a crossroad now. Unable to determine my own direction. I have a lot in my mind and I am overwhelmed of all the things that I needed to fulfill but I can't do them at the same time. I am bombarded with questions that even make me confuse. And I cannot think and function as a normal person. I am overwhelmed, apprehensive, and lost.

My world right now is numb and void. I cannot think straight. I am in a trance and I can't determine where to stay put. I guess I am traumatized by the turn of events. Even myself could not believe what happened. I hope I can hurl myself from the dark abyss and tragedy of unassuming kindness and politeness. In the end deciet had ensued. I am scared to be lost.

I am afraid in the end this things will gonna backfire. It's not backfiring in a little way but majorly. I hope it won't happen like that. But my premonition sometimes are eighty percent right so maybe "que serra serra". Oh, God please help me when that time comes.

Life is short, but sometimes we worry too much about other people's lives instead of our own. It is inherent in me to be like that. And sometimes my care was being misunderstood and I get the blame in the end. Had I not intervened their life should be better. Yeah right, after all the things that I offered to you were gone. I am flabbergasted or shall we say disgusted.

Right now, I am stock being the breadwinner despite I decided to be single. Maybe culturally, because I am the only one who had a more decent job in the family and was near the silver spoon. I mean I can help in my own way but not that having these people to be under my mercy all the time. I have a life of my own and so are them. I just didn't get the picture.

I know you all were tired about my complaining. I am just venting up how I feel right now. But in the end it's just me who can hear it anyway. This always happens to me all the time especially when I am burnt out. I guess I need that much needed rest and hopefully things will be perceived differently. Life is always full of surprises.