Yesterday, I've heard that my mom's very close friend and first cousin who is my very dear Tita Inday Rose had died of pneumonia as a complication of her long time battle for a stage IV breast cancer. She died in the hospital in our place in the Philippines. I was so depress upon hearing the bad news from my second cousin living in Long Beach, CA which he messaged to me in Facebook.
My aunt was very dear to me because she was my mom's first cousin who is very close to her as a friend. When I was a child I always saw mom and Tita Inday all the time talking about their lives. She is always close to my mom and they were chums with each other. They were such good friends together.
When my mom died in 2009 Tita Inday was her first cousin who went to her side to cheer her up and pray for her. And she was also there during the wake and until we brought my dear mom to her eternal rest at the cemetery. Mom for sure was very thankful for her dedicated compassion, sincere sympathy, and unconditional love and care for her as well as to us her children.
When I heard that Tita Inday was been diagnosed of stage IV breast cancer I was very worried so I started to pray for her everyday. I wish I could be in the Philippines to be at her side to also comfort her, just like she did to my mother, but I am so sad I could not do it because I live farther from her. So I did a novena for her everyday and prayed a lot that may be God will reverse the cancer although it was very impossible but I still believe in the power of intense prayers. That's why I've been doing the mission visits here in California because of her to ask the Blessed Junipero Serra for a miracle.
I couldn't repay her for what she did to my dearest mom, comforting and staying at my mom's side at her deathbed. In that kind of way, I can only help her but it seems that God has the reason why He took her to be at His side eternally yesterday. I know that He doesn't want her to suffer more because she is a very good, benevolent, emulating, simple lady. That's why I am very attached to her.
With her history of being a good daughter to my Lola, a good wife to my uncle, and a good mom to my second cousins God doesn't want to prolong her sufferings and make her feel so much pain and agony as well as lengthen the pains experienced by the people she will left behind. Now I know that she will be in a safe place in the hands of my Almighty God. Now I know that she will be together with my dearest mom and be friends forever in heaven.
I was very depress at first upon knowing about her sudden demise but I was thinking that it was for her own good, too. Kind of sour graping but I have to embrace the fact that she had left us for good and live peacefully and permanently in heaven. She already did all her necessary responsibilities here on earth to her beloved mom, loving husband, obedient children, and understanding friends and I can see in her eyes and that also I can feel a hundred percent sure that she was ready to leave us. I am still in denial about it but who am I to detest what's the Maker's ultimate plans for her?
Yes ..... I'm in a great grief right now, going through the piercing stages of denial and anger because I don't want her to go. I kind of asked why she was taken from us and was also mad and retaliating that my prayers were not sufficiently answered. Yet maybe God has an enormous reason why it happened and that was not really clear to me. If I could only turn back the time I will ask God why she had the cancer but I have to face the reality that she's already left us. Time will come and heal everything and I have to bargain and accept the fact that she was indeed gone or she had indeed left us and live happily ever after.
I know it will take time to sink in and I know I still need more time to accept the turn of circumstances or events. I felt like this when my mom had left us and I felt it again today. It kind of releived me what had happened in 2009 at my mom's bedside although the situations were totally different because my mom at that time was not ready yet but the feelings were almost similar and not strangely quite different.
When death comes we must accept the fact that it is looming around, that it will stay there until it gets what it wants and that it will win over us, and that God has a definitive and exact reason why it was happening. My reaction at first is to blame someone hardly and I can't help it because I am not accustomed to being left at so suddenly and abruptly, but now I know, and I just have to pray more harder and accept the facts wholeheartedly. Oh yeah..... it is!
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