I don't know.... I'm kind of ambivalent and confuse right now about my choices in life. I am kind of having a dilemma in all the things that happened to me lately.
The moment I was back on teaching theory in school, I perceived that something will happen along the way. Yes... I admit that every day I must accept the inevitability of change but it seems that thing shad happened for me so fast lately. I'm kind of everwhelmed and stressed out.
When I was inadvertently pushed by our administrative office to teach theory last month, I was kind of ambivalent in accepting the decision but I am also kind of excited at the same time because of the major impact o fthe opportunity in my nursing career. And besides I love teaching and I accepted the offer with slight apprehension about what might happen along the way.
I know this is coming but I really did not anticipate that it will happen this fast. I am slightly in denial right now and my overwhelmed ego was really surprised of the rapid events that had affected the outcome.
At the first day of my class with Batch 40 (a new group carefully selected by the admissions committee)I felt some animosity already. They were kind of welcoming but with certain doubts in their face because they themselves have been through a lot already. They were been tossed around to different instructors until I landed on them.
At first, I can feel the bad aura but I just brush it off. It usually happens in the first meeting I believe. They say first impression will be lasting but this for me... was even far from it. Okay.... I told myself to just hang on there and give them another chance. I held on.....
As days passed by, the same feelings I have felt was been lurking around in the room. I didn't even know that they have complained to my academic administrator and my boss had calle don me to resolve the issues and from there I learned to improve more on myself for them to like me but not to manipulate me. Of course, I told myself that I am not there for them to like me but to learn from me.
Weeks had passed and I kind of know them already. I tried to anticipate providing them early notice of their syllabus after my boss had plotted it in the bulletin board and the binders, providing them with necessary materials they needed during the didactic sessions especially printing them the Powerpoints I have for th electure, and preparing their grades early so that they will know if they will remediate or not.
I also tried to help review them for their pointers for the quiz, unit test, and final exam as well as gave them some advise on how to improve their study habits and test taking skills. I also gave them some extra time helping them improve their math and calculation skills. And honestly, they started to appreciate what I did to them and they say that they are lucky that I came to rescue them from the neglect of the school administration.
I told them that they were not neglected but just being pushed to adapt to changes because the higher echelon (the administrator) feels that they are already responsible and mature people and they can adapt to different personalities where they can learn form them. The more experienced people they are exposed to the more they get input form those persons. They did not get the idea of it but I tried to explain it in the words they can understand.
Now they say that they are thankful that I was there to explain it to them. I told them that I know it is hard to transition from one situation to another situation but as a healthy human being we must use our coping skills to adapt and adjust. There's no easy way in living life and I told them to be ready with a lot of challenges that will be coming.
Well, now I can breathe (actually sigh deeply) well that all my apprehensions was been load off. After several weeks, I have tamed these batch to like me as well as learn from me.
Actually, they were more intellectually inclined rather than manipulating circumstances. The animosity that they have shown during my first day at me was still sticking in my mind all the time and to me that was the root of everything of fulfilling my goals for them. Thank God I accomplished the goals with flying colors.
Aaaah...... re-evaluating the events that had happened lately had given me a realization that teaching is indeed rewarding. I never have known that it was like this... I was about to give up last week but my persistence and patience had held me to hang on.
I hope as days passed by I will be more inspirational to them as well as motivating. I tried to improve my teaching skills for them and hopefully I will give them more insights and information for them to learn as they just barely trek the pointy and confusing as well as challenging road of Nursing.
Like what I said in my previous blogs.... Life is really a bitch! I couldn't think of it some more but it's just refreshing to have been breathing normally again. You know what I mean.... hehehehe.
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