Well, last week was my mom's birthday (she was supposed to be 77 years old) and I have missed her so much. Although it was not typical for me to remember her birthday because she always kept it as a secret from us I had the awakening to suddenly remember her because I had missed her a lot.
My mom would have been 77 years old last June 4th and it was supposed so bittersweet having her by my sad but too bad I cannot enjoy that anymore because she was already with out Creator in heaven. I am dead serious missing her and I am kind of depressed right now.
The trouble of rearing seven children was very inspiring to me and I couldn't get my admiration off from her when she guided me until I finished college. My hats off to my dearest mom for being there guiding me all throughout my growth that's why I couldn't get over her in my memory. I loved her so much.
This year was her 3rd year death anniversary and I remember when I was vacationing in the Philippines in 2009 when she was at the brink of her death. I can see the happiness in her eyes without faltering and no fear seeing me by her side and I can see those beautiful smiles she had given me when I was petting her to get well. She was ready to leave me during those times seeing me in a nice position to be on my own.
It seems she was telling me that she was satisfied of what I had become and I was so relieved that she showed intrepidness in facing her last hours on earth having be by her side while she was resting in that hospital bed with me sitting beside her bed caressing her soft curly hair. It was sad though that I was not there seeing her close her eyes because I have to go back to the US to tender my long leave-of-absence in preparation for her interment.
I already had a feeling that she will go anytime soon that time so I decided to make preparations about my work absence. A day before she died I whispered to her that if she is too tired to breath I told her that I blessed her to go and leave us so that she will not suffer that much and I asked her permission that I have to leave for a while to take car eof some work issues and will come back to tend her which she encouraged me to do, didn't I knew that she will left me the following day.
But I already had a feeling that she will leave me anytime soon but I didn't expect that too soon. I thought she will wait for me. I told my siblings to visit her at the hospital and also had told our family's matriarch about my mom's fragile condition and that I am leaving for a short while to take care of some work issues but promised to be back immediately.
When I landed in Hawaii my sister-in-law ahd texted me that she was already gone and was taken by our Lord Almighty. I accepted the sad news with a willing heart and that I just succumb myself to cry and pray for her eternal rest. I cam back after five days after I asked permission form work for a long off but I was so numb at that time and sleep was not even apparent until I got back form the Philippines.
Despite of my issues with my siblings I had fulfilled my promise to my mom to give her a decent burial and I know she was satisfied and happy with it. I know how worried she was for being a burden to me but it was the only way for me to pay her back of her kindness to me as a mom.
Now, she was gone for almost three years now and I just cannot forget he rin my heart. I miss you so much mom and I hope you also missed me. Luv you mom!
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