Adjusting to Personalities

Well, working in ER is still a struggle. It's been two months now that I am orientating there and the unit is still strange to me. I know it will gonna be difficult from the start but eventually I can get the hang of it.

They say every journey starts with a single step and my journey in ER is really green. I always get shocked when I am in adult ER. Everything for me there is foreign. I felt that I am working in another planet. People in the main ER are always not approachable. But anyways, I don't give a damn.

On the other hand, Pediatric ER is the most awesome job I know. Although I still have to encounter some challenges there but at least I am comfortable working there despite struggling to please some of the people that worked there. It was a big challenge to me yet it's rewarding because I get to learn a lot of things.

As long as I do my own thing, I will be okay. As long as I don't harm people and I don't keep any ill feelings for them, I will be fine. I know God is always with me and I know I will be safe at His presence all the time. My only friend is God and He will not leave me always in any adversities. That's why I always pray all the time when I am at work.

Well, this journey of me in ER really starts from square. Adult ER for me is very challenging especially for me who got use with my niche in Pediatrics for many many years. Since I wanted challenge in my life then I think this is it.

What I really don't like here is working with people who are really so all over their head. What I mean is that those who really feel so hung up with themselves and who always wants to prove to other people that they are the best when in fact not.

But as for me, I just wanted to be low key here since I am new to the place. I know I can meet a lot of strange personalities along the way and I know they will find means to step on me. Oh well, if that's what makes them happy just let them be. Later on the other side of the plate will turn around and will show them what karma is.

I was working with this white preceptor of mine but it seems that she was kind of distant from me. I've been to a lot of preceptor before who are really hands on with their orientee but this one seems like she doesn't want to mentor and teach new orientees.

Like she was bitter to the newbies and make them suffer all throughout the shift. I don't know if I'm just generalizing about white people as very arrogant and overly proud of themselves but my experiences so far proves me right, and I hope not all of the white people are like that.

I wish I am wrong with my assumptions but this one really had etched in my mind and I know I couldn't shake it off my subconscious. For me this was a big challenge and I've learned from it.

I'd tried my best to be nice but it seems that my being nice was been misinterpreted as not nice. I don't know but I have a feeling that I am not welcome there. In as much as I wanted to be accepted there it seems that people are not really open to the newbies.

But this one hurdle couldn't even topple me. This only proves to me to be stronger, resilient, tenacious, and hold on to my principles because I know time will come I will be victorious in winning their approval and friendship.

Ideally, people should be open to newbies and welcome them with good intentions to the new strange place they are into. I really expect that the mentors should guide their orientees whether they are experienced or not but it seems this is not the case.

I mean the place is already overwhelming to the new ones plus the new environment, the new routines they should master, plus the policies they should adapt, and many more things they will encounter on the way during their journey in facing the realities of the new job.

My preceptors were not like this. They always turn their back at me, leaving me alone to figure out what to do, and I ended up struggling with all my might.

I know I'm a smart person but still I know my limitations. And being smart is not perfect at all. I have my own weaknesses and I know I have to bow out. May be there's something there that got me in the situation to be misunderstood sometimes. I know I am always misunderstood and I don't know what to do to fix that.

I tried myself to talk to my preceptors but I felt brushed off all the time as if I don't exist in their midst. I can pinpoint few preceptors who do good in their job and I am extremely comfortable to interact and learn new ideas from them.

It's really hard to please people especially working in a stressful place like the ER and I understand that. But eventhough how stressful the situation is, as a professional you still have to manage to throw a smile and be nice to new people. Right?

Well, this is still an enormous puzzle to me and I don't know what the answer is. Ahhhh.... personalities are always strange and a wonder to me. It really gave me the bumps and the dread on how to handle such situation.

I know I always have somebody to lean on in facing such challenging and difficult situations involving people who are extremely cold in interacting newbies like me. And I know God is always there to give me company and strength to get through all of these.

And whatever I started I have to finish it because quitting and giving up is a coward's way of facing the realities of life. It's just like running a marathon without even getting to the finish line.