Driver and Passenger

On the road each day, the pieces of life silently and continuously roll and flow before me. They flicker like neon lights at night full of nagging expectations and unfulfilled promises.

Behind the wheels for so many years I find life as a fascinating journey. Every journey has a destination, a termination, and a culmination.... an end of the rainbow.

These journeys may be long and boring... fast and short..... straight, zigzagged, and clueless. There were unexpected stopovers.... pauses to catch one's breath.... or to collect one's confused thoughts. Or sometimes catch a glimpse of another life so different from someone's imagination.

At the inner core of each journey being taken there is an unconditional love. Like a gasoline, a fuel, or an oil; it propeled the feelings and life forward and to an unimaginable heights.

Love is nothing new to me. It had enslaved me once. I fell in love with someone, and he with me, that's what I thought. We started out so willingly and full of expectations and dreamt big together on the same journey.

But he got off along the way, took another ride and route. I was devastated and felt like I was ran over by a huge truck. It was nothing like I've ever felt before. Then suddenly, a crossroad loomed before me. And I didn't know which path to take. I was confused and felt so numbed instantly.

With life's very hectic traffic, no one can stop the red light from turning green. It signaled to me that I have to move on and face the realities of life. Life will have to continue and has to go on. It is fluid and flows like an infinite river.

I then realized there were other passengers waiting to be picked up and ferried to the end of the rainbow. To the places they wanted to go and to the directions they wanted to tread and follow.

If love is the journey's soul then I realized that the passengers are the air it breathes. They gave color and meaning to every journey and remind us of what life really is. It takes all sorts of passengers to paint life. Some will board light, others are like some heavy burdens.

He was a guy I picked up near a university..... light as a feather... but he sat down right beside me like a heavy baggage. I know at once that we were on the same boat. I knew the kind of pain.... it was mystifying and intriguing.... like getting on board on an unfamiliar vehicle. I was no longer a driver but a passenger.... he opened up the door for me and I willingly got in.

It was something that had occured to me - until I felt his touch on my skin. It was like a very potent drug..... a strange feeling that I couldn't fathom. I felt so warm inside and was full of needs and wants.

I saw the opportunity to ease my hurt and pain as he drove me towards the path not yet taken. It was actually my chance to escape from my irks and qualms against life that was roiling and boiling inside me. I almost exploded.... like a bomb.

Looking back, I now saw the possibilities and opportunities of a single journey that's needed to be shared...... of the answers to my unending questions......just like some fragments of life I saw on the road each day that had taken shape and eventually become part of the whole.

I can see the totality of the road clearly and vividly again and I can now understand the rigors of life. I now learned how to love unconditionally.... and markedly failed.... and ready to love again willingly.

It was a struggle at first but I shook it over. It feels good inside me and I actually liked it. I was imbibed and soaked by the lure of it. It feels awesome and inspiring. I won't look back again to where I was before because I don't want to get hurt and feel the numbing pain again and again.

But they say, all journeys has to end..... and all passengers has to get off... and moves along with the endless flow of life. But sometimes, they often left something behind..... or may be intentionally left something inside the vehicle.

The memory of their presence, their personality, their bitter experiences, as well as their happy thoughts. The answers to a long and unanswered questions which is the reason to reminisce and look back, and look forward, and accept the change and the challenge.

It's hard to think about it but who knows on the next trip you can meet again the same old passenger that gave you a once in a lifetime, memorable, and unforgettable experience.

It is a one in a million circumstance that some other day the odds or the chances of picking up the same passenger will happen..... who knows it will become true!