I was kind of thinking blogging in Tagalog right now. Tagalog is the national languange of the Philippines and Ilonggo or Kinaray-a is my dialect.
I kinda missed my roots although Tagalog is not my native tongue. I speak Ilonggo specifically Kinaray-a, a dialect from the central part of the Philippines, west of Panay island, a province called Iloilo. Although I can juggle speaking and writing in Tagalog and Kinaray-a yet I have to be wary of my wide array of readers here.
Medyo masaku gid ako subong. After nga nag-resign ako sa hospital because I got fed up with the patient's parents in the Pediatric floor, ari na naman ako nagapangalap sang bag-o ko nga specialty. Medyo nabudlayan man ako pangita pero I have to face the consequences of my actions. Medyo naga-sakit man ang buot ko nga mabalhin sang specialization ko pero I have to para may challenge man ang akon pangabuhi.
After working for so many years in Pediatrics maybe I needed a grand change. Kaya heto na ang aking pinaka-bonggang-bonggang decision. And I have to face the music, as what an old adage said. Wala na yatang atrasan to. Datapwat nag-desisyon na akong magpalit ng specialty then I have to stand for it.
Sa ngayon medyo kinukumpleto ko pa ang aking mga certifications. Ilan lang sa mga ito ang kailangan ko just in case na tawagan ako sa nursing registry na aking inap-playan noong isang linggo.
Katatapos ko lang mag-pacertify sa aking ACLS for adults then I still need to do my NRP for the babies at the end of the month. At least meron na akong PALS para sa children. So whenever the job calls for me I have the necessary papers and certifications to show. Medyo mahirap lang nga kasi I have to spare one day for the class pero enjoy naman kasi nakakapag-aral ako.
Well, everyday is a learning process at parang walang katapusang aral na yata ito. Ganun talaga siguro pag nagpapalit ng specialty. Kaya hayan, gusto kasi ng challenge kaya hayan ang aking napala. Ang arte ko kasi eh. Pero okay lang at least medyo natauhan ako at nauntog. Hindi ko alam marami pa pala akong dapat malaman.
Hindi kesyo napasubo na ako eh basta basta ko na lang iluluwa ito na para bang mainit na kanin. Hindi naman tama yata ito. I'll just have to probably face the music and the consequences of my premature decisions.
Indi man gid it mabudlay basta nakabasa lang pirme. Amo gid na ya kon may pangabuhi. We always learn alot everyday and we should never give up and stop learning. Makapoy lang galing pero mas challenging and exciting ang dating. Daw indi gawa boring. Hehehe.
I really tried to mixed all my languanges and dialects here coz I can really express it better what I really felt today. What I really need is to pour out all my pains and aches here. Daw malupok na ako nga bulkan subong pero ginapunggan ko lang. Indi man ko kahibi kay wala man ko it ihibi.
For those who continued supporting this blog just pardon me for this one. I know it really amazed you or even surprised you why I did it. Well, it's just my way of expressing myself in an emotinal way. It's just very therapetic for me right now. Sorry for the inconvenience!
My life is kinda confusing right now because of my soul searching. I harriedly forced myself to resign at my hospital job because I got fed up already after working for so many years. My life seems so void all those years although I liked that job a lot but it's just like that I just can't work well with people who doesn't even show emotional and social support in the job. As if I am working alone there. As if the people I worked with just go to work for money and not for service to the children.
I am now scouting for some hospitals right now preferably to give me fulfillment emotionally and psychologically. Hopefully, I can find one. I am always superstitious that it will come at the right time and place. I just have to search and wait for it. Although I am trying my best to go out there and look for some prospective employer to hire me and give me good answers to all my questions.
It's funny though because I am the one asking what they can offer me and not them asking me what I can offer them. I have to tell you that I am the one who's soul searching not the hospital searching for employees. I mean, may be it's high time now for me to find my satisfaction in my job.
I've been to a lot of working situations but I never been satisfied emotionally and psychologically. I don't know why? May be because I am always misunderstood all the time. Except may be for some few people whom I met and who can understand me deep within.
Daw kabug-at man nga sagi gitgit sang akon kaugalingon kon wala man lang sang naka-intiende sa akon sa obra. Daw tuod lang gid ako nga naga-obra tapos wala man lang sang naga-pansin sa akon. Daw hangag lang gid kag buang ako nga nagapakadto pabalik sa hallway tapos kon sila gani may kinahanglan sa akon amo na ina ang pagbugno nila sa akon. Pero kon ako gani gakinahanglan sang ila bulig indi ko sila mahagilap.
Ambot ah.... ngaa may mga tawo nga amo sina sa kalibutan. Hindi ko talaga lubos maisip. I just couldn't fathom why there's always people who always takes advantage of somebody and anybody else. It's very ironic to know some.
Oh well..... I always have a will to change and I have to just live up with my words. I know God will always be there and will never leave me in times of my needs and adversities. Life.... is always full of surprises and we never know what will happen next.
It's just up to us to be careful and watch out for what will come up.... and be prepared for the worse to happen. Always expect the bad to happen anytime and willfully learn from it. Good luck to me instead!
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