My Demented State Of Mind

Well, being 40-years-old had already added a huge toll on me. Remembering things randomly was always a big struggle. May be because I just didn't take the responsibility of double-checking everything before doing it. At this time of age I should have been more careful and cautious in carrying out things.

I showed up at work thinking I am scheduled today. I woke up early at three o'clock in the afternoon and had watched my teleseryes then meticulously ironed my scrubs, showered well, and put on my best cologne. I didn't even bothered to check my work schedule whether I am working today or not. I immediately presumed that I will be working tonight.

I left the house early at six-fifteen and eagerly drove down to the busy Hollywood Freeway towards downtown Los Angeles where the hospital where I worked at is located. When I get to the parking lot I found a spot right away. At least I got there early and not able to just pressure myself looking for an available parking spot in that crowded parking structure.

When I got to my floor, the Pediatric floor, I found out that I wasn't scheduled for tonight. How come I didn't noticed that or overlooked it? I really had set my mind working today and I didn't even bothered to check my schedule stuck on my fridge's door. That was really uncalled for. I usually did that all the time before I left home but I don't know what happened today why I forgot to check it.

Yesterday, I was supposed to be working but because Ate Loida had switched my schedule, for me to work for her on Friday for last night's, I probably assumed that I will be on tonight. Well, it was too late because I was there already.

What I did is that I just went ahead and made copies for the chapters I need to teach on Thursday for my skills lab with Batch 14 and browsed Google for my research topic to be discussed during our monthly meeting this month. I picked the topic about "Preceptorship in Nursing." Good thing I found one interesting article about it. So I printed it and tucked it in my bag for me to study tonight when I get home.

When I left the hospital I decided to grab some dinner first because I felt so hungry for not eating the whole day. My last meal was my dinner last night. Since I was in the downtown area, I decided to pass by the Old Pantry House Restaurant to just grab for a steak dinner. Anyway, it's been a long time that I haven't had a steak. The restaurant appears like a hole-in-the-wall and was been a famous vintage place situated at the heart of downtown Los Angeles.

When I got there, I parked across the street and walked towards the restaurant, looked for an available table, and made my order. I ordered a soft tenderloin steak from a very helpful and approachable waiter. When my order came, I enjoyed it so much. Everything on the table was been very delicious. From the coleslaw, sour dough, boiled green peas, and potato grits. Everything were awesome and great. The steak was even succulently juicy and was just cooked right.

After the dinner, I left downtown area and continued driving towards Wilshire Boulevard going to the west side. I passed by Walgreens Drug Store at 6th Street and Vermont Avenue to buy some cough candies, then I passed by Kyo Chon Korean Restaurant to buy some fried garlic chicken for tomorrow's meal.

I got home at around 10 PM then changed. I decided to wash my soiled scrubs and had finished washing my laundry at 11:30 PM. Since I couldn't sleep I just decided to open my laptop and watched the re-run of Pinoy PBB from YouTube. I enjoyed watching Melissa-Jason's tandem. I've been watching and following this show from time to time. They gonna culminate it in five weeks time and I just can't wait who will win the coveted first prize.

Well, it was funny that I showed up at work when in fact I'm not scheduled tonight. I tend to forget all my activities lately and I don't know what had happened to me currently. May be because of too much stress I am into lately. But even though I still have to be responsible double checking all my iteneraries before leaving the house.

And to me this is not an excuse why I should forget double checking all my schedules. Hopefully, I will be more responsible in checking it in the future and avoid doing the same mistakes over and over again. Aaaah... I have to put a blame to myself and myself alone.

What a shame really for this demented state of my mind! I am always culpable and responsible for the consequences of my actions. And I admit that it's my own mistake and it's a shame on my part. My mistake really.......