Surviving Life

Life for me was been a challenge most of the time. It left me no choices but to survive all the challenges it offered to me. Life can be dragging at times. It can be tough and never been easy.

Living alone far from my family was another big challenge I already conquered. I mean, I've overcame living away from them for almost twenty years, living here in Los Angeles, CA on my own. It must have been tough but yes, I did it, and I survived all through the years. It's been a hell of a ride actually, but life can be more better.

Sometimes I have to emerge victorious from a lot of difficult and mixed emotions like depression, boredom, and loneliness. Putting a happy face when you're sad can be real tough at times but I have to live with it.

I have to battle all these insane feelings and emotions but in order to survive life I have to face the music and come out resilient and victorious from the challenges of this competitive world in the end.

I've been lying on my bed feeling totally bored. I wanted to go out and watch a movie but I am scared to drive now after that freak accident that had happened a week ago. Instead I've been sulking myself in my apartment doing and finishing my household chores.

After I went home this morning from working graveyard shift last night, I was so tired and beaten up from walking back and forth in our unit.

After admitting that four-year-old ruptured appendectomy male child after midnight, my night was been so freaking busy after that. I haven't had the chance to sit down and do my documentation. I even started charting late in the morning, thirty minutes before report time.

When I got home I was very very tired. I laid on my soft bed and slept like a baby the whole morning. When I woke up at 1 pm I felt so recharged and good. It seems that I never worked so hard last night. But it was a very uneventful respite and dreamless sleep. Never been better!

After waking up, I grabbed some bowl of raisin bran cereals to at least fill my stomach up a little bit. Then I started doing some household chores that I kept setting aside these previous days.

I started tidying up my room first, picking up all the scattered dirty clothes from the hamper including cleaning and tidying up my closet and then dusting off the furnitures and the bookshelves in the living room and then organizing my shoe rack.

I even vacuumed the carpet real good spreading and sprinkling scented powder on it and I also cleaned-up and tidied the kitchen including washing the dishes and cleaning the restroom including scrubbing the bathtub then after that did my laundry until 4 pm.

Doing laundry was very exhausting to me. Separating the colored clothes from the white and black ones, separating the undies from the socks, and also separating the blue and khaki jeans and shorts and washing the bed sheets was a lot of work. It was wearingly burdensome and a very taxing job.

I did almost six loads of laundry today and the folding added a lot of toll on me. I hate folding clothes, per se. If they have created a machine that can fold laundry then I will the first one on the line. Aaah..... it was crazy!

It's really hard to live alone. I mean, I have to do everything on my own from doing the household chores, running errands, and driving myself to work.

Well, I am not really complaining here but I am just pointing out that it is really hard. Well, this is the life I chose so I really have to bear, grasp, and live with it.

I couldn't even see myself if ever I have a wife and family. I don't know my philosophy is that I'd rather be living on my own and keep my problems to myself rather than sharing it with somebody because I already have a vivid idea what it feels to have a family.

My family alone was a big family. Seeing my parents arguing sometimes pains me a lot. I mean, I can feel what my parents have been through in raising me and six of my siblings. It was really a tough one. I can feel and see their pain all the time.

I firmly believe that the aches of the finger is also the aches of the body. Whatever problems the parents have is also being felt by the children. And that was I felt about the family I grew up, and maybe having or raising my own family will be like that, too.

I don't know I was just like pessimistic about that... but also the joys of having children couldn't be explained. It's a mixed up feelings actually.

Seeing me and my siblings arguing about anything was a bit painful. Having me doing my own assigned chores made me more independent and isolated. That's probably made me very introverted sometimes.

I learned doing things on my own and with my own resourcefulness. There is really no togetherness in the brood because of the big household we are in and the fact that our parents were so busy at work and doing and fulfilling their own individual responsibilities.

I felt so lucky that I learned all the rigors of doing household chores on my own and still get to improve it until now. I mean I am proud of myself for being so independent. My autonomy taught me to be strong and tough in living and surviving life.

I just can't stop thanking my self for being so determined in surviving, for my parents understanding for my own choices, and to those who in some way or the other contributed to how the way I am today, especially to my friends who were always there to boost my morale.

Life is not that very easy to live. We have to learn things on our own in order to survive things around us. And just like the Energizer Bunny, life has to go on..... and on...... and on..........