No Direction

It was 3 am  on this early Tuesday morning and I just got home from a very tiring long drive. It was a drive without any exact direction.

I was just cruising around the area driving, my beige Toyota Avalon, blankly without any definite purpose or goal at all. Maybe I did it just to relax and breath fresh air, who knows.......

Yet as I continued driving aimlessly, my mind kept rolling back on the things that had happened to me lately and in the past. Things that had reminded me of my pitfalls, adversities, and tribulations. It was like a little  instant flashbacks that kept rolling at the back of my subconscious mind. In short it was a very implicit drive for me to evaluate my life and worry about its consequences.

After I got out watching the movie Surrogates which starred Bruce Willis as Agent Greer, I felt succumb to find my niche of spending my quiet times. So, I decided to drive and cruise around the area in West Hollywood.

Driving miles and miles of stretched road from The Grove Mall, then right to Fairfax Ave., then right on Melrose Ave. to Vermont Ave, then left on Santa Monica Blvd. to La Brea Ave, then right on Sunset Blvd. until Vermont Ave., then left on Hollywood Blvd. back to La Brea Ave., then back again to Santa Monica Blvd. until my house, I aimlessly zigzagged the lonely streets from Melrose Hills  to Highland Park.

It was a long stretch of aimless driving, enough for me to dawdle on some things that are very important to me and think of it very quietly while listening to the hip-hop music of Jesse McCartney, to the pop music of BBMak, to the latin beat of Shakira, and to a mixture of OPM from the "Star In A Million" previous winners and runners-up, until the rock music of The Journey with Mr. Arnel Pineda as the vocalist.

The music had entertained me so much, as I silently think and carefully drove on an abandoned road on this wee hours of a Tuesday morning.

It was nice to drive along these roads at this very hour because there's not much traffic at this time and the streets are quite not inhibited by throngs of people and passersby, only few people on each bus stops patiently waiting for the bus to pass by.

I always noticed the regular changing and turning of the traffic lights from green to yellow to red. It was the usual sight I saw as I passed each blocks and corners of each streets. I felt that I was the "King of the Road" at that moment, and it really felt so good to own the road without any tacky cops stopping me.

As I drove along the streets I can see few people walking by and most of them had just got out from the night bars and clubs I passed along and were waiting patiently at the bus stops in each corner of every block. Maybe some of them just came out from work and some had just finished clubbing. That I don't know, it's just an assumption.

I noticed that the bars and clubs were already preparing for the closing time and the patrons having enjoyed the night out happily, got out of the bar making loud giggles and noises, about to leave now for their own respective destinations and agenda, whether they go home or find more gigs and have some fun, it's up to them.

I kept driving along the lonely road, tacitly and patiently, observing the gradual ebbing of life on the streets and the lively dancing of the flickering neon signs everywhere. It felt so awfully eerie after a while because the early morning fog had started to settle down and obscured my driving visibility. And the cold breeze of the north wind can be felt everywhere.

When I felt tired and soporific from driving aimlessly and unpurposefully for several few hours, I decided to go home still deeply numbed, from critically thinking too much of my past experiences, and I was just trying to hold it off when I got extremely tired. That's the sign for me to end this aimless driving and called the night off.

It was a good long and tiring drive and I felt so relieved that I got the time to reflect more of my past experiences while I drove and cruise around the area. This was one of my outlet to express out my mixed anxieties and without-no-reason depressions. And I was glad to have done it earlier because it really eased up my mind from too much stress and fatigue.

Now I can sleep well because I felt that I was so relieved and can continue again in struggling for the achievement of my daily goals and objectives.

Well, my little journey or cruise around town had brought me home to my quiet niche. It was a good feeling though to spend some quiet time alone, driving along the mile-stretched-streets of West Hollywood trying to find something that could fill in the void and emptiness I am feeling inside me at the moment.

Although my little journey has no exact direction and definite purpose but it had helped me pass the time and divert my feelings of inadequacy into a full self-realization of the importance of my existence here on earth.

Life is always a struggle and we need to face the music by ourselves alone!