I started this month's blog with a traumatizing experience and now it seems that my second blog is much more traumatizing than the first one. Actually, it's not that traumatizing but emotionally very draining. Here's what happened.
The other day, I woke up in the morning at 0600H trying to get ready for my clinicals when I happened to check the messenger from my Facebook and saw a message from my best friend in Aix-en-Provence. I felt so elated thinking it was a happy message because she was expecting me next month for my vacation wherein we will travel again like nomads.
When I got to read her message it was a sad news. She told me that her cancer did not respond from the last chemotherapy and radiotherapy she had and was told that it had metastasized to her liver. She told me that she will not last long and had decided to go hom eto the Philippines and eventually will rest there until she goes. She has to do it right away before all her strengths will be gone and that she will not waste time because she dreaded the idea that the airplane might not let her travel if she is very ill.
I didn't see it coming like that. I didn't see it that it was already a good bye. I didn't see it that I'm not gonna see her when I will be in Aix-en-Provence next month. I didn't see it that I will be missing her when I am there. I didn't see it that I'm not gonna see her anymore. I wish everything will be fine with her cuz I see her as a fighter and a strong person. I am really devastated of this sad news and here I am again got traumatized for the second time.
I regret starting my blog like this and it has to continue until this month ends. I wish it would not happen like that. They say that it always comes in threes. I hope it won't be like that. I am just very superstitious about it. I am sorry for my panicky mode. I just can't believe it holds true for me. I might be the most unlucky person here. Mayb eI have to see it in another perspective.... like maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Hope this would be true at all.
Going back to my best friend, I am just angry for what was happening right now. I mean what have she done? She was the most nicest person I've ever known. I'v enever opened that big with regards to my personal life but with her I am an open book. She knows if there is something wrong with me. She was the expert on that scenario.
I told her that despite of what happened I will still have to pursue my journey because it is very soon to cancel my flight. and besides it is my vacation month so I'd better be out of Los Angeles and unwind my tensions and stresses. I hope she understands my point and I hope she's still there when I arrived.
But I knew that she was very ill and that she was already weak with the chemo. I am glad that her employer was very supportive of her. And that her circle of friends had emphatized with her situation.
I am still in shock of what had happened and again I questioned God that how come He always grab all those who were pure of heart and who were spotlessly not sinful. I mean my friend was the sweetest and lovable person to me. We always had a lot of fun with each other when were together travelling. I didn't even had any bad encounter with her. She always supports me the way I am and likewise I was also very prim and proper with her.
Man, I gonna miss her so much. That kind hearted woman and very happy person I know of. Miga, don't forget me when you'll b ethere. I know you will wait for me there. I thank you for your unconditional friendship and bromance. I am so proud to have you in my life. Words can't just describe my feelings having you in my life.... how you cheered me when I needed it most. Thank you.... thank you.... tank you!
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