Here we go again. I am scared again of losing my chances of working at a very prestigious hospital because of my handicap. I hope my preemptions were wrong. It really scared the crap out of me.
I was scheduled for my physical examination today as part of the pre-employment hiring at Long Beach Memorial Medical Center. At first the examination went fine when suddenly my hearing aids were acting up. I couldn't hear that much on my left ear (probably because my new hearing aid was programmed weak by my audiologist, so I took it off and struggled a lot during the interview by the exmining doctor.
I got the new hearing aid last week and I noticed that something is wrong with how it was programmed. I felt like I was hearing something inside a close container which apparently was due to the pre-programmed set-up by my audiologist.
Well, I didn't know that..... I thought my ear will just adopt to it but today I noticed it was really apparent during the physical examination because I couldn't hear the physician interviewing me during the exam. He also noticed it that I kept repeating him when he asked me questions and I was kind of uncomfortable with the situation because of my situation.
He redirected me for another hearing exam (with and without the hearing aid)and I did not pass both which he recommended me to go back to my audiologist to reprogram the new hearing aids and then advised me to come back next Wednesday for the final pre-employment process.
I was so scared now that it will affect my employment at the hospital and will be tantamount to not getting hired for the position. I was also worried that he will question my ability to assess my patient and interacting with them because of my hearing difficulty. It really freaked me out.
In as much as I needed the job so badly, here we go again. I felt I am doomed and will not get the position. I hope God will help me for this for the last time. I am so bummed out now waiting for me to get absorbed in the Emergency Room at this very prestigious hospital. But if worse comes to worse, I will accept the fact that the job or the position is not really for me.
How come it all happened when I'm so close to the end and close to being absorbed. How come my physical exam didn't even cooperated to help me out get the desired position? And many questions had cropped up in my mind.
I hope next week when I come back everything will be okay and I will be cleared physically and medically. I hope things will be re-considered and that the doctors will be kind enough to give me a second chance.
Time is of the essence here. I've been waiting since April to find another hospital job and now that I am nearing to getting absorbed this... everything ran out of hand. Why God? Why me?
Well, I am a firm believer that if things is not meant to be then it's not meant to be. I know God has a lot of things prepared for me so I hope if this job is for me then I will get it with no obstacles on the way. I know there's always the right reasons why it all happened to me.
I am also thinking that may be I was just tested as to where I am so I hope I won't give up on this journey which I've started four months ago. I hope I won't give up now that I am near the end of the journey. I just wanted to be optimistic about this and I hope my feelings were wrong.
I hate myself for making such a bad move of taking off one of my hearing aids and pretending that I can hear the examining doctor. I hope I was honest enough to tell them about my handicap. I got scared and embarrassed earlier.
But nevertheless, there is another chance for me next week to prove myself. I hope they will give me another chance and I hope God will be with me.
No matter what will happen I know God will not leave me and I know he planned everything for me. Whatever outcome will happen I will accept it and start all over again. Let's hope for the best though, fingers crossed.
Hope it's not another fiasco..... or else I will demand my rights as a handicap. You know what I mean. Hope will not come to this part though. And I'm serious about this now. We'll see though.....
No comments:
Post a Comment