The Awakening

My mind is reeling right now. I just don't know what to do. A lot of things happened in my life. I just want to take it slow but everything happened so fast. I am so confuse!

First thing up, this pandemic had wrecked havoc in our lives. Many family had lost their love ones. Some have no jobs and don't have any food on their tables. Others had scraped their earnings down to the bottom and just don't know what to do next. Isn't it life is so cruel?

The government is in disarray. Politics was down to it's dirtiest game. Politicians has been competing for the best and the people suffered. Other people had lost their trust to the government and the social issues had kept piling up. Total chaos indeed!

My life was not even that good. Was been working so much and now I'm burned out. I am just so grouchy at times and just kept quiet in m little corner at work. As long as I finish the shift that would be enough for me. Yes, we were short and I took advantaged of this time to work a lot so that I can save enough money for emergency purposes. I guess it will serve the purpose in the future.

What I am wary about is the tax this year. I am not sure, but I have the feeling that I will pay more than enough because of this unwanted overtime. In the end, I will be the one paying the toll. How's that? Not good huh?

Anyways, while traveling was been on halt, I sneaked out three times to Mexico this pandemic and o far it was harmless and easy. No problem at all. But the last one was quite stricter because they required me to get a covid19 swab when I came back to the US. So far it was negative, that's why I went back safe. They said I have to quarantine for ten days when I come back but it was not even imposed.

Yeah, I found a friend in Mexico who became so intimate with me but it was a short lived one because I felt that he is only up to the money for the relationship. I mean everytime he came to my apartment in Mexico money speaks a lot, in short I have to give him something. It dawned to me that the friendship won't last and I am ready about it. It was frustrating but that's the reality for gay relationships. Now I know how trying it is to have an honest relationship. I guess I'm destined to be a "mono-homo", hahaha.....

Good thing I don't have any expectations lately. I guess I just have to learn how to love myself and be happy when what I have and who I am. I just have to gear my focus towards self fulfillment and making myself assured that I am doing fine alone. It's time to pat my back and say that every thing will be okay despite the odds. In due time, I am self serving and I have to be ready embracing it.

Oh how I wish my friend from Geneva be with me right now giving me some yacking. Hahaha. I miss you Lisa!!!!