Hang Tight

Yeah, since my schedule were very hectic I really don't know where to go right now, what to decide, or what to do. I am just following the flow of the tide but since I chose to be like this then I guess I have to suffer the consequences of my actions. That's what supposed to happen and it's pretty much appropriate to just hang tight and see what happens.

So far, I kind of like the busy part but it seems that my mind is able to absorb all of it but my body was just surrendering to the demands of the job. I'm pretty much beat up yet I kind of find some ways to just finish the five day stretch and then rest for one whole day on my off and then do some usual routines, shores, and errands in between.

It's kinda taxing to the body but I'm kind of accustomed to it now and the more I do it the more I asked for it. Am I just punishing myself for being so greedy or am I just planning for a turnaround? Maybe the latter sounds good to me. And yeah.... that's right.

I was killing myself to work because I am planning to have a six weeks vacation in October. It is my inspiration to work hard so that I can enjoy it when it comes. I am so excited about it but for the meantime I have to focus on working and saving money so that I have enough flow of cash for the set vacation.

At least, I'm enjoying what I do despite of my fatigue but all is well. Thank God! I am just blessed that my health is good and well. Trust me, I will not overdo everything to harm myself. I just wanted to save money for my vacation, that's all! Other than that I have no other intentions.

Hopefully, everything will be okay. In four months I will bask the heat of Mexico and enjoy the pristine beaches of Northern Philippines. Crossing my fingers. Amen!

Worthy Of Life

Hey.... it's me again! Glad I'm back here blogging all my thoughts away. I have a lot in my mind right now as if I am bursting with ideas and things to tell you. But apparently we have to take it slow so that we can understand each other.

Yeah, I am better off now compared to the last months. Firstly, my health insurance had kicked off and I can't wait to use it, especially my vision and dental insurance, for it's been years that I have not seen my ophthalmologist and my dentist.

I needed my eyes to be examined for a new fit of a new set of glasses. I also felt that my teeth had a bunch of cavities for all those years that I haven't visited a dentist so I needed a much needed consultation. Hopefully every thing will be all right. Crossing my fingers.

My new jobs.... jobs means many, okay... were kind of making me very busy lately. I am so glad and blessed as well that I had surpassed all those tests and now here I am trying to duel myself to pick up myself from the rubbles of self pity. I know God was always been with me and I am very grateful that he was there all the time despite I almost lose the faith.

Whatever happens, I know He was there with me. I am a very lucky guy I guess.

Well, things were kind of a bind but I can't complain because if it rains it pours and all the blessings just kept coming towards me and I am very grateful about that.

I still believe that life is like a wheel. It's up and it's down sometimes. So let's just be grateful of what is happening at the present and just be ready for what will be happening in the future. Past is where we can learn from our mistakes and that will be the great wisdom that God can bestow to us in order to learn about life.

Life is not just the ups and down but also it's about how we deal and cope with it. Everyone of us is unique and has a different approach to such challenging situations but hey, it doesn't say that everything will be over.

We need to have closure in order to open another chapter of our life and that closure will always set us free. For if we dwell with our failures then we will be stuck in the past and will never progress to the future and not seeing, seeing, and hearing what it has to offer us.

Yeah, amicably we have to settle our accounts from the past and learn from them then we have to get ready for what lies ahead. Then we have a deal to strike!

Survey.... A Nerve Wracking Experience

Wow... when I came back to work last Saturday after my two days off I was appalled that my DON's and Administrator's cars were in the parking. It was odd because they normally doesn't work on a Saturday. And when I get in everybody were just passing to and fro as if they were expecting for something or somebody.

After I clocked-in I asked what's happening and they told me that the survey people were coming. They told me that they started the previous day and that time was the second day already.

I told to myself to calm down and murmured that I am ready in case they will question me. I started my day with a little prayer to guide me on what to do and that He will grant me a sound so that I will not commit an error. I am excited at the same time very nervous, a natural reaction maybe.

I started passing my medications, taking the resident's vital signs, and preparing the G-tube meds. I naturally did my own thing and so far nobody had approached me or followed me. I was just like cool that time because I know somehow somebody will gonna follow me. It was already noontime when I did my blood sugar checks when one surveyor asked me that she'll gonna check my cart.

I don't know what happen but I searched every pockets of my scrub but the keys are not in my wallet. I must have left it somewhere else. So I honestly admitted to the surveyor that I cannot find my keys and was suspecting that I maybe left it inside the cart. Sadly, she did not impose but was frustrated that she has not checked my cart.

I went to the patient's room to give the meds and they when I came out searching my right pant's pocket, it was there. That was embarrassing if the surveyor knows but apparently not because she left a while ago.

It was already 1400H when I was wrapping up my charting still there were no surveyors attacking me. I was just fortunately enough not to be questioned. It was a relief indeed because I am almost leaving. I heard they will be coming back tomorrow and their last day anyway.

Survey..... has a lot of anticipations yet these anticipated situations were not even asked. Hope we did good or at least okay, but it's still unto their mercy and it was doubSo far we have a good survey and they exited only after three days. What a very conspicuous day!

Planning Phase

I'm kind of exhausted now. I have not had a decent sleep lately because I cannot fall asleep. I maybe holding my sleepiness that's why I have had not enough sleep. I'm the only one to be blamed and nobody else.

I was off for three day in the morning and all I did was to recuperate for my fatigue. Imagine working sixteen hours back-to-back and only had three days off in the morning. At least I have time for more sleep and that I don't have to wake up early in the morning half asleep.

I was been doing this because I wanted to save money for my planned vacation in October. I am planning to go to Mexico fro two weeks and then go home to the Philippines for three to four weeks depends on my vacation approval.

If not being permitted then worst comes to worst I will resign and re-apply again when I come back. Those were the real scenario that will happen so I needed to anticipate what will happen. I just cannot wait for it to happen. I'm so excited!

So in order for my plans to realized I needed to sacrifice myself, working my ass off just to save a lot of money for my vacation and also for some reserved funds when I come back just in case I resigned. That one too is needed to be anticipated and planned out. I am just up to the brim now for my excitement.

Four more months and it will happen. I have no ticket yet going to the Philippines but I already bought the ticket going to Mexico.

My trip to Mexico starts at Guadalajara then I will go to Puerto Vallarta, check the tequila factory there, then go to Leon, Guanajuato and Irapuato. I will also visit Morelos and then pass by Mexico City and head to Oaxaca to visit Monte Alban and Sto. Domingo Cathedral. I might probably revisit Hierve del Agua and some key beaches in Oaxaca like Puerto Escondido. Can't wait!

For the Philippine trip I only wanted to go to Manila and just process my condo cancellation refund and then I'll go home to Passi and visit my mom and dad for "All Soul's Day." I might probably go to Japan if still have time, we'll see!

Streams

I was driving to work earlier when some guy (Hispanic) had cut me off in front of me at the crossing of Rampart Avenue and Third Avenue. I then realized that people were in a rush and they don't know what they're doing, even cutting other people was unconscionable.

Los Angeles is a very busy urban place that people doesn't care anymore if they hurt other people. As long as they can carry out what they want, that's it. They do not even realized that other people were been hassled or disturbed.

Generations nowadays were very more conscious about themselves and not other people. It is totally different anymore compared to other generations one or two decades ago. In my time, were more of a disciplined type persons compared to what was just transpired a while ago.

I was surprised that even on the street manners and behaviors of people can be observed. It's kind of a stream of movies you can just flick in front of you and then you can obviously see everything.

I remember watching the movie in Netflix titled "Alphas". There was an autistic character who can read magnetic waves in front of him by just scanning all the sounds and lights transmitted by throngs of people in the city. The setting was set in New York City and you know how the atmosphere in New York was.

I felt like that right now, with the windshield that served as the screen. All I can see were cars and each cars has depended their own personality with the kind of drivers it has. I was flabbergasted earlier by that guy who cut me off and there were a lot of possibilities that had run through my mind.

A lot of what ifs..... a lot of presumptions. It was scary and inevitable. What if.... he made a mistake in changing lane, what if .... he hit me at the fender, what if..... there were a piling crash, and most distracting is.... what if.... somebody got hurt.

Then I've realized that I still valued my life over the wrecklessness of one person. It was a scary thought. It really made me realized that I still have to live and make some difference.

Netflix And YouTube Movie Galore

Can't really imagine how I got the stye, but alas it popped yesterday after several soaking of alternate hot and cold compresses. I was relieved but ouch.... the pain was unfaltered, unfathomable, disgustingly painful.

As soon as the eye of the boil came out, I can see the crater it created on the side of my right inner canthus. I am worried because I think it might scar once all the swelling will subside, hopefully not. I am quite elated because I can go back to work, and do my usual routine.

For the two days, that I imprisoned myself in my room, I realized that I was bored and having on and off headache. That's probably because I was inert. But I got to see a lot of movies from Netflix and I got to finish the series of Surface which I had started before all these eye hoopla started.

I think I saw the Surface movie series before but because I really liked it I re-watched all the entire fifteen episodes again. It was a very poignant animal-human friendship yet all the suspense, the thrills, the dramas, the confusions, etc. it was very very exciting.

I also watched the detective drama "El Gringo", based on the drug cartel stories. It was a three star movie but I liked the Spanish captions and conversations. The guy was very handsome and muscular, and also very good in fighting and shooting guns. I was droling from the start to finish. I might watch it again. hehehe.

I also continued the Chinese imperial story about the concubines and empresses but it looks like they were just bickering at each other and trying to fool each other so I stopped it halfway.

I also finish the movie "Shaolin Temple" which starred the young Jet li. It was quite good and also very funny at times. I also finished watching the Taiwanese kung-fu movie "Wing Chun" starring the young version of the famous Chinese kung-fu master Yang Bao and Michelle Yew. It was also a noteworthy kung-fu movie.

I also browsed some movie in YouTube and came across the Pinoy Teleserye "Pangako sa Yo" starring Ian Veneracion, Josi Santa Maria, and Angelica Panganiban. They re-shoot the movie based on the series starred by Eula Valdez, Tonton Gutierrez, and Jean Garcia fifteen years ago. It also starred the Kathniel tandem which was quite a little too far from the Jerico Rosales and Kristine Hermosa's tandem. But we'll see how it goes. Can't really beat the old ones.

I also browsed some of the videos for the "The Voice Kids 2 - Phillipines Edition" where all the qualifiers were also good compared to the first season. I love the 9-year-old boy form Bohol who sang Ed Sheeran's song while he strum his little guitar. Quite a talented little boy. I also like the guy who sang the ballad from Journey but I guess it was just like a teaser for next week. A lot of very talented young kids.

I also re-watched some of the Asia's Got Talent videos of El Gamma Penumbra, Junior New System, and Gerphil Flores. Added to that the guesting of Charice who sang Sam's song.

That's all I did for the two days respite I got from the stye that rendered me workless for two days. At least, I got to chill a little bit and enjoyed some of the movies that I love to watch. It was a very refreshing and rechargeable twio days. Now I am ready to go back to work. Yay!

Money1 Money! Money! feeling lucky.... in the old man's world. Hahaha... That's the feeling!

One-Eyed

I'm suffering right now from having only one vision. My right eye started to swell up two days ago on the inner canthus near the tear duct, anteriorly I guess. It looks like a stye, or a boil, or a cellulitis, or a combination of all, I don't know.

It's really difficult to work with this, especially when I am wearing sunglasses at work. People may wonder why I am wearing a brown Rayban sunglasses with gold rim. They might be thinking I'm showing it off, If they only knew what's behind those dark glasses.

Some of my co-workers had approached me why and then I told them why. Some were just flabbergasted about it some will say an audible OMG, and some will just show their empathy how hard it is to work with one eye. And I appreciated the sentiments.

For real, it was really hard to work like this but I have to swallow the embarrassments and the suspicion that I am just showing it off and just trying to be cool per se.

The bump in the inner canthus was now apparent, protruding, and hard. It looks like a pus-filled sac had started to develop there and that the recovery from it might be endless and painful I guess.

I will still have to swallow the humiliation and that I will still wear the most hated glasses at work. I may say the most notorious glasses everybody had seen. Yeah, it was embarrassing but if it's of use I have to stick to it until I am healed.

I really don't have any idea why I am prone to this eruptions sometimes. I remember in the pasts that I have eruptions in my buttocks and they were everywhere like boils. I am lucky right now that it was only one but of all places in the inner portion of my external eye.

I hope it's not opportunistic infections and that it can affect mu immune system. I really dreaded the fact that it will affect my immune system.

Well, being one-eyed had it's own risks and benefits yet right now it was a negative. But I am very hopeful that I can see better again. That's life I guess.

Upping The Level

Just for a note, I realized now that getting tock to being an RN has really been a great toll on me. I think I needed to level up a little bit more. Yeah, I know but it is really hard and I don't know how I can do it.

I mean, the benefit of it will be rewarding in the end and I just can imagine how it will serve me in the future. It will be a struggle and I know a lot of challenges ahead. I just don't know how I will do it.

Juggling three jobs is not easy. I myself was really surprised and confused how I did it. I did not have any inkling idea how difficult it is to have worked like that. I think I am so looney to have done that. I have no idea why.

I think I maybe too ambitious right now, but my goal this year is to start my Masters Program. It's been years that I held it off yet I have no time to start it. So for sure this year I can start processing my admission papers. At least the whole process of admission was very tedious but I will surely process it.

I just heard my former co-worker and friend in Country Villa North had just graduated from her MSN and now she was fully certified already. And I was being left behind. The two of us were been discussing about going to school before and now she had finished her while I am still an RN.

Well, I kind of regretting my decisions and now I felt so ashamed of myself. I mean, I cannot deny there was some jealousy on my part but who's to blame but myself. I've been procrastinating for two years and now that Denise had her MSN I kind of realized how important it was.

If I could only turn back the time. But I cannot. I just have to start now I guess. I never been too late. Hopefully, this will be the great time to do it.

I mean if Denise can do it then I can do it. It just depends how many percent I am ready right now. I am just anticipating the fear of the unknown I guess. And I know it is normal in everything that is new.

Hopefully, things will be okay. God will be with me always.

Looney

Yeah, I am sorry for starting this blog with a negative note but I just cannot pass this thing to share with you because I thought it can give you a moral lesson. Life has always some unexpected things happening. It's just amazing to realized that a simple situation can teach me how to be emphatic to older people.

I mean these older people were just humans and needed much attention but because of the pressures of work and everyday challenges we tend to oversee their basic necessities and needs. One necessity they need is patience and that is really the best virtue that we needed to learn.

I myself sometimes was very impatient and yes it can't be denied that unconsciously I did it. There were a lot factors surrounding it but it all goes back to the basic and that they're just humans.

Yeah, when I started working in Geriatrics I was a little adamant because switching from babies and pediatrics to older people was a big adjustments. Honestly, it made a great impact on me because I tend to learn the physiological aspects of getting old.

Starting from losing your memory to losing your physical and psychological functions, it was really a great deal. Imagine the way you think that you can still do things you've been doing everyday and all of a sudden you cannot perform them. It will be very frustrating.

These older people experienced that and me as a nurse (primary sometimes) can see it in front of me and that I have to device or think an appropriate therapeutic response so that they will not get upset and understand their situation.

I am in a position of filling in their memory that they cannot do things the way they can do before and that I have to reassure them that I am there to help, guide, beacon, and support them, no matter what will happen.

It takes a lot of skills to do these and as a nurse I am very lucky to have learned such great skill because it not only make me fulfilled but made me happy to have served them.