Bottling Up

 Yes, I am in a daze. Every time I encountered her, I am quite in a different realm. But it seems that we have different perception of each other. 

I felt so prideful when I come to encounter her. And so was she! Seems like she has some reservations as well. Two persons who acts professionally at each other yet cannot find some chance to say a word to each other. But as I can perceived it, the nonverbal cues that I saw was very indicative of a very deep emotions to me.

I don't know if it is just a one-way street or a two-way one. But to me the pre-emptions was strikingly similar to two strangers trying to evade each other but with quite a hint of precaution, maybe not to hit each one's ego or  it was just me who is trying to overthink about the situation.

Here I am again, reading through the tacit actions. My clairvoyant talent seems like doesn't hit the bullseye at this time. Hahaha....

You know what, honestly was I the one who just feel excited about this charade? I can't really fathom this emotions but believe me it was deep like an abyss and I can't help myself getting drowned from it. Or was I just crazy enough to think about it. Crazy enough that I maybe scream "Wonder Woman" at this time. Hahaha...

So what I did, I just bottled up this pent up emotions, hold it to myself and not show it to my close friend just to avoid misinterpretation and overthinking. I hope this is a wise decision. Aaaah! I cannot take this anymore. My guilt eats me up because of this.

I hope I can get over this immediately and not be discovered later because it will be too embarrassing if she will find it out. Oh no!

There were two instances that I sneaked a keychain on her jacket's pocket, not once but twice. Can you believe it? I was sleuthing really well when I did it and luckily I did it with success. It was a bit scary but oh well I did it. I just wonder what's her reaction when she discovered of this mementos.

I know she doesn't have any idea but to come to think of it it was indeed scary. What if she doesn't like it? What if she has an idea that if was me? I guess what I felt about her is not obvious to her, but too brave for me to do.

I know eventually this slight charade will be discovered so I better stop it while it is early. For me, I guess it is enough to have stirred her world a little bit. The charm of my little adventure will for sure leave an indelible mark on her and I hope she will cherish the effort of the actions I did.

Brazilian Lesson

 My last trip was in Sao Paolo, Brazil. It was been planned long time ago because it is just apt to go now because by April 2025, the Brazilian Immigration will now require American citizens to apply for a visa for entry.

Since I miss Sao Paolo and the good looking boys, I carefully planned this trip for this reason. Brazil is huge and a lot of beautiful places to foray and each places has their own characteristics just like its boys. And besides it is one of the country in South America that I always wanted to explore, so for this trip I mainly concentrate at Sao Paolo, Curitiba, and Bahia region.

I met some new friends before, during my first trip. But I was with a group and was just restrained when it comes to exploring socially. Yes, we've been to several nice places in Rio de Janiero and Sao Paolo but I never really explored the night life scene there which I have heard was even nice.

On this trip, I have met a lot of boys and I have enjoyed their company. They brought me to awesome places to really leave an indelible mark for my vicarious experiences in Curitiba and Bahia. I really did enjoy the beach despite of the rainy days when I was there. 

Brazil offers a lot of good experiences. Despite my fear of the notoriety of the "cariocas" in Bahia, I still fathom my fear and faced the challenges ahead and indeed ended victorious in the end. 

I really did not regret going and if given more chances, I will come back again a thousand times. Being around beautiful people gives me the urge to enjoy the feeling of being with them. It's just a fulfilling feeling to have it. And I am glad I did it despite some enormous hesitations I've had initially during the planning phase.

Yes, there were some bumps along the way but yeah.... that's life as they say. There we're no lessons to be learned if someone just don't face the challenge. In the end whether it is a positive or a negative outcome, still there's always a lesson to learn. Even one lesson is enough to trigger the wheel of life of turn.

Indeed, my travel hobby had brought me to many places but to ne honest there's some places that I need to go back which had left a big impact in my life. And I would hesitate to do it if given a chance.